Sex before marriage?

There's nothing wrong with drugs.

Where would your music collection be without them?

 

I think these day people lose their virginity, earlier than they want, more because of peer pressure than choice, and I think that sucks. And frankly I believe believe that everyone has the right to say no, so noone should be able to pressure you into it. By the way, do anyother countries have a legal limit for having sex without it being called rape, even with consent? It's 16 in India.

And wasn't sex supposed to be a divine thing in ancient times and even religion? An act to produce precious new life with and a way of getting closer to God(orgasm)?

 

Most countries I believe do. In the US age of consent varies by state. Pennsylvania is 16, New York is 17. I think some states also have in addition to the age of consent an age limit.

 

Yes, and now it's available in t-shirt form.

 

I have to get that t-shirt.

 

It's TWELVE in Chile?!?! That's down right insane!

 

Does the quote mean you're a fan of Ellison or was it arbitrary?

 

Not really. You just find it so because of social dissonance. They probably find the common eighteen law insane themselves.

You also have to take into account that (a) it's not encouraging, just make it not rape between themselves [seriously, if two thirteen year olds have sex both can be charged with rape. How does that make sense?] (b) chile's population is deeply catholic, something about 70%, and catholics [at least in latin america] are very open about preservatives and contraception [hell, I got sex-ed at 11, complete with a little book on how everything worked] (c) the stigma of getting pregnant is much bigger, so most of the time, girls are scared into the act until they get to the age where they reevalueate every moral they were taught.

I think the ideal age of consent would be around 14 (like it is where I live, I think), though.

I just liked the t-shirt.

 

I'm not entirely convinced of that reasoning. Notice that it's still 18 years for same-sex couples. So the religious (or at least sociopolitical) stigma is still there. You may have gotten sex-ed at 11, and even reached puberty, but as carefree as I am about sex, I still hold the view (rightly so) that it's an adult activity, and 12 year-olds aren't adults. Hell, even the ones as messed up as Drew Berrymore aren't mature enough to make decisions regarding sex. If you lowered the age of consent to 12 it'd open up a lot of loopholes for pedophiles and the like. 16 is quite fine, at least that's when most girls over here grow tits.

And two 13 year-olds having sex can't be charged with anything. Age of consent refers to those already of the age of majority, and then of course it's all messed up if you're between 18 and 22, or if you're within 7 years of the "victim", and if you're related, etc. It's a legal nightmare, but you can't be convicted if you're below the age of consent yourself; it'd be tried as a special circumstance.

Also, if you're in Canada, it's not 14 anymore. It's been 16 for a while now.

I was referring to the quote in your signature.

 

In the US they can. There was a recent case in Florida I believe it was a few years back where two 16 year olds were charged with raping each other. It's law, I just think it's ignored, like how technically deserters are supposed to be executed (never are) and draft dodgers are suppose to serve 12 years (they never do). I don't know about anywhere else but at least in Florida it can theoretically happen XD.

The Chile thing is easily explained. Many parts of Chile are not modernized and I'm sure the mortality rate for children is very high in comparison to the US or Europe. At the same time, I'm sure many of the peoples in Chile live very traditional lifestyles and if it were higher it's likely those cultures could suffer. Large areas of Chile are untouched by the modern world and as such live in the same way we would have maybe a century or two ago. They have a different cultural situation and approach this issue accordingly.

 

So in summary: "One should have sex whenever one desires with whomever one wants as often as one pleases? There are no real consequences to worry about--as long as one is 'careful' and 'protected'?"
"It's okay to have sex married, unmarried, extramarital: guy/girl, incestually, w/ kids (as long as it's legal?) or even animals if that's what makes one feel happy?"

I'm trying to understand the reasoning. It sounds like this is what some are saying; and if not, isn't that eventually where it leads to, if there are no definable boundaries in place? Is there really a limit to what's 'okay'? Who decides it? And by the same standards, wouldn't it be just as judgemental to set any 'limits', since 'truth is all relative' and we're just placing limits according to 'our own opinions' on the matter?

I disagree.

 

There's a big flaw in the "legal age limit" and "rape" theory too, most of them do the act illegaly anyways. Hell, there was this case dating 2-3 years ago(you can find it online) where this guy made an MMS of them having sex and some IITian distributed it. The girl had NOT given permission for the MMS to be made. Both the girl-guy got expelled from the school(DPS RKPuram), there was a lot of hype about it, and basically their lives were spoilt., but the guy who distributed it got free with a 6-month sentence. It's not fair!

I think the best policy is that parents should be open with their kids about sex. Only then will the kids have enough guts to follow the right path, there won't be the "secret thrill of the unknown."

 

I think every posting in this thread explains why some people choose to wait 'til after they are married.

There are people that believe that sex is special, and spiritual. There are others that think that it is just physical fun.

What happens when one of each get together? Someone gets hurt or upset.

Whether you wait to have sex until you are married, or you go at it right away. Make sure you do it with caring for the other persons feelings. This wouldn't even be an issue if people tried to be more understanding of other peoples feelings before they jumped into bed.

I saw many posts about making sure you were compatable sexually before you got married, to make sure it was good. Hey it's sex, it is never gonna be perfect. But if it isn't the greatest, then you just have to practice more, and 'learn' your partner. If you love someone and you aren't dynamite in bed, it doesn't mean you shouldn't persue the relationship.

 

I totally agree with what you're saying. Of course its worth persuing a relationship even if the sex isn't that great. I personally believe however that waiting until you are married before you have sex is not a great idea. However I respect other people choices

 

^ I agree, although i dont see how someone has to be married for it to be spiritual or special. If somebody (IMO) believes that being married suddenly makes sex some magical life changing experience then....wow, i feel sorry for you It's just gonna be the same (fun) learning process as it would be for an unmarried couple. I think as Becca said, as long as its done with the other persons feelings in mind between two caring people, then it will be just as special.

Sex will always be fantastic if it's with somebody you love. It's the desire, lust and love you feel when you're close to them that makes you feel sky-high. For some unloving, careless people (i,e those who have one night stands and barely know their name) they'll never experience this - they only care about the finish.

That kind of person makes me sick.

Meh, If someone waits til they're married then great -I just hope they dont get severely dissappointed, or end up divorcing that person and cursing themselves for ever waiting for that person.
and vice versa of course - some people dont wait and make a horrible mistake, regretting the whole thing.
Things that start off as being their idea of 'perfect' don't always end that way, sadly.

 

In Quebec, a girl can get married at twelve if she has parental consent.

 

Whoaaa that is weiird. (I'm 16 and that's the legal limit here for sex and marriage. 12 is just creepy!)

 

Well, Quebec is unique. For the rest of the country, it's sixteen.

 

Just to update you all.

I've never seen her looking so relaxed.

They gave into passion at the weekend and both wish they had done it much sooner.

 

Lets all have sex to celebrate!

..lmao.

 

Right on!

 

Deal!

Who's paying for plane tickets?

Great to hear it Bard, hope they stay together.

 

Tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day.

And when the saints are offering you drunk teenagers to take to bed, it's downright blasphemous to refuse!

Moot point, most 12 year olds can't cook or clean worth a damn.

 

So? There are a lot of adult women who can't, either. Are you living in the fifties? Being a good wife has nothing to do with your skills as a maid or chef.

 

So this has been quite an interesting debate here...
My personal opinion is that you don't necessicarily have to wait until after marriage, but I do think that you should not have sex with someone you're no in love with. And you should definately not do it jsut because you are being pressured to do it, you should have sex when you are ready and in love. Just my opinion though.