That's not true. Try smiling all the time when your payment barely meets your food demands every day. Or try it when you know you're still a drag for your parents, but can't do much about it, because a quarter of your peers, a lot of which are highly qualified, can't find a job, let alone you. Sure, there's some who are outright bimbos, but most are simply disappointed with where they've ended up, even more so by the fact that they had little choice in the matter. You'll rarely find that kind of attitude from Slavic people outside their own countries. It's not communism that has them crushed, it's life without support.
Based on what (asking sincerely)? Half of my family / relatives are Bulgarian, and many of them have talked about exactly that phenomenon, about how customer service got worse under the communist regime and how its effect still lingers (although bad pay certainly doesn't help the situation). I think there are people working customer service jobs who are pissed off because of bad pay and lack of money, some who are grumpy because they're stuck in the past, some who are affected by both, some who have other reasons for being icy / rude. Then again, I haven't seen any statistics or other verifiable scientific research data on the matter, so all of my knowledge is based on subjective experiences of people I know. Communism does get blamed for a lot of problems, so I don't know whether this particular accusation is true or not. Wasn't it communism that took away that support? I know my dad's family lost a lot of money (essentially they got bumped to a lower social class, money-wise) when the farm that used to belong to my great-grandparents was taken away by communists. Things got pretty tight after that and I'd imagine it wasn't even an isolated incident. @Cogito, almost. Maybe it still needs a dollop of syrup.
I am Bulgarian, how's that for a basis? Yes, communism does tend to be the trash bin for everything we don't like, but the reasons for what you're describing are much deeper than that. On the support issue, I'd say some people were worse off, some were better off, but everyone was provided for so that they can meet at least their primal needs. There is no such thing nowadays, and any support you do get is simply a joke. There, that's my 2 cents.
Well, like it is with my relatives, it gives you a broad basis for subjective experiences and observations, but they still aren't objective and as such cannot directly be the basis of an argument (you know, used as evidence to disprove e.g. what I was saying before, quoting what my Bulgarian relatives had told me, as you said it wasn't true). I'm not sure where you get your interpretations of what it was like to live under the communist regime (probably your folks? Maybe they have more positive experiences of communism?) since it fell before you were born, but my dad and most of my relatives did live through it, so perhaps that affects the differences in your views? In any case, I was wondering if you had e.g. looked at scientific studies or some such, you know, objective, verifiable data that would e.g. indicate how communism or its eradication has affected the society. I haven't discussed this subject with that many Bulgarians, but so far you're the first one with what looks like a bit more positive view on communism and its effects on Bulgaria (do correct me if I've misinterpreted what you're saying). My folks all hated communism and what it did to the country even though all regimes have their pros and cons (though some have more cons and pros or vice versa), so in a way it's interesting to see a different POV (if that is the case here). Halfway through writing this post I realized I had no idea what thread I was writing in, so maybe this is a bit off-topic. That being said, to return to manners and to commemorate my home country's independence day: here in Finland, being drunk is an excuse for just about all kinds of behavior. Someone beats someone up, pisses on the street in broad daylight, harasses a passing woman, breaks public property, runs through the city center naked, or, heaven forbid, smiles at somebody, all can be cleared with one simple sentence: "Oh, s/he was just drunk." The response: "Oh yeah? Well, that's okay then, we've all been there." Here being drunk can be a literal get-out-of-jail-free -card and can excuse things that would get you in a lot of trouble in some other countries, legally / socially. I think it's ridiculous because I believe you should be held responsible for what you do and, if you're (wo)man enough to drink, you should have the guts to face the music once the haze clears instead of hiding behind the notion that you weren't yourself / couldn't control yourself when you were drunk. That being said, I generally dislike people who change a lot when they're drunk (that is, if the change is for the worse). The sad thing is that I've met so many people who are these shy mice sober, yet when they down a few, they turn into loudmouthed assholes. For some reason, my subjective observations indicate that this sort of 180 change is far more common among shy, well-behaved university students than it is among rowdy musicians or martial arts / combat sports enthusiasts. Maybe it's because everyone has a darker side and the two latter groups just don't try so hard to hide it when they're sober?
That really is pretty ridiculous. If people can't control themselves when they're drunk, then I normally don't want to be around them. I mean, I understand getting rowdy and loud and a little mouthy, but even here at work events people will get SMASHED and say/do things that should definitely not be done at a work event, let alone in general. I probably have a bit of a bias in this, considering that I've never gotten black-out drunk like a lot of these people claimed to have been. But to me, that boils down to self control and knowing your limitations and being stronger than your wish for fire water. (Seriously though... would you ever get black-out drunk at a work event?!) I think shy people (as the socially awkward bird that I am) don't really know how to interact with people, so a lot of the frustrations and thoughts that might be normally shared in a bitch-fest on a regular day, gets all bottled up. So when the time comes and they drink... it all just sort of spills over. That's my thought on it, anyways.
Where do your folks and friends live now? Because I can tell you for a fact that quite a number of my countrymen glance back at the past regime with a sense of loss. That can be supported by you know, "objective", verifiable data - by looking at all the constituents who still vote for the Bulgarian Socialist Party, all of whom more or less have nostalgia for the former socialist times (let's call it what it really was), and they aren't just a few of them. The BSP is the second most powerful political group after GERB. I wonder, if someone did bother to make a survey for the perception of Bulgarians in terms of before vs today, what kind of results would turn out? I have some doubts it will turn out favorably for the catastrophe that was the transition. At least some people remember the socialist times with fond memories, despite all the defective aspects of it, which were a lot. Of course, your view, as well as mine, can get slanted depending on what type of people we discuss it with. Some welcomed the Soviet comrades with open arms, other despised them vehemently, and both had somewhat good reasons to back these feelings up. But the truth lies somewhere in between "it was shit" and "it was great". Sure, you had to get in line once a year in order to taste this yellow bundle of nutrition called a 'banana', and that's if you're lucky, but you could also come back to a home with an unlocked door, because the police were actually doing their job. Local manufacturing might not have been the best in all modicums of production, it was certainly cheap and inefficient in all sorts of manners (outright crap), but it was affordable nonetheless. The same couldn't be said for cars or places to live, though, which were a kind of a mirage that you maybe see every decade or so, and that's if you knew the right people. It was no rarity for generations on end to live in the same house without any realistic prospect of moving out, but hey - you had a house, it was yours (technically the state's, but you owned it legally). Few people can now brag with owning their own place to live without breaking the bank or being so indebted, they literally slaughter their family and commit suicide (I apologize that it's in Bulgarian), and no one went as far as to set fire to themselves to protest socialism. There's some verifiable, objective stuff to ponder over. Don't get me wrong, only my grandfather truly glorifies this awkward moment of our history, for reasons I've explained in another thread. My mother doesn't like it at all, but she does admit that it was good where it was actually working. It was a more secure place, people could afford to go to vacation every year. Good luck finding skis if you're not heavy on the contact list, but you could go to Pamporovo anyway, and have a good time. I've got no positive outlooks on this regime, and I'm no stranger to the long essays some Bulgarians have written online on the bleak image that was socialism from their perspective, but all I'm doing is just relaying a picture I've built through conversations with friends and family that have lived to tell the tale (some that have lived before it, as well). What I aim, however, is to dismiss this muddled view of my peers as simply "victims" of past mistakes. It would be foolish of me to argue that the past has nothing to do with it, but the present has much more impact than some of your relatives might dare to allow. I should know, I'm one of those cheerless youngsters.
Yes, a friend of mine told me the same yesterday. Seems like I haven't met any people with that accent, yet, which is a shame. A bigger shame is how I haven't met any people with Irish leprechaun accents. They do exist, right?
The only thing I find rude in people here in the US is when I'm at work and I tell people to "have a good day" they ignore me and go on. Here in the US, manners isn't top priority but I would like it to be. Some people are just so rude now-a-days it just "grinds my gears". @T.Trian I find that quite strange, that smiling is considered rude. Here in the US we find it polite if we get smiled or "nodded" at by a stranger. When a stranger smiles at you it means they are being kind and giving you a bright light to your day. It's just their way of being nice. Same for nodding. You nod at someone it's pretty much meaning "hello" or basically acknowledging that you're there. When a stranger looks at me and gives me a weird look I find it rude. And I smile at every stranger I see, just to be nice. I definitely wouldn't fit in at Finland. People would probably see me as an extreme weirdo there.
Where I come from, this is so rare that whenever I say it, I startle people. They get confused and don't know what to say for a second or two. Then they look really pleased and wish me a good day, too Not everyone of course, but quite a few people seem taken aback... Yup, they would I had an awkward moment on Friday. I was leaving work and this co-worker I semi-know opened the door for me and held it open, but his arms were full of stuff and it was seemingly something of a feat for him to do that, but man did I feel a bit awkward since my hands were empty and I felt like I should've kept the door open for him 'cause he was carrying stuff. It was like a rock-paper-scissors of manners or something... Being polite to women beats being polite to people with their hands full of stuff.
Back in the late 1970s, I worked in a small company in Central Massachusetts. One of my colleagues and I were both heading out the door. I reached it first, but I held the door open. She gave me a look, and said. "You wouldn't hold the door like that for a man, would you." I answered, truthfully, "I would, and I do. I don't like to close the door in anyone's face."
HA! I knew it! Another American who's never heard that "need you to" thing - EXCEPT from my sister who's lived in SoCal for the last 50+ years. Of course, she's a bit of a control freak anyway...
England. We were in Oxford, Reading, Stratford-upon-Avon, and in London -- but didn't get it that much in London. Not just the Brits we knew, but bus drivers and clerks, too. I thought it was pretty sweet. Maybe 'cause we were girls? I'm a sucker for sappy things like this, but he's got a point:
@Dean Stride, sorry I took a while to respond, but since this subject requires a bit more thinking, I wanted to have a moment to respond properly instead of in a hurry. Since the farm was taken away from them, they lived in Sofia, квартал Изток, a walking distance from the city center. That would be interesting. There would probably be a lot of variance depending on the area because in most political discussions, city folk and those who live in the country have differing views. I'm guesssing yours and my families come from the opposite ends of the scale on this issue. My dad still remembers how difficult it was to get Beatles albums: they were banned, so his mates smuggled some into the country. Of course my great grandparents hated the change because they lost their farm, their lands, their farm animals etc, so yeah, there were good sides to it all, but a lot depended on who you were. And, of course, communism works in theory, but the reality is always very different since people are greedy and a corrupt government can use communism to turn itself into a dictatorship: even if you want to talk about some issues, you have to keep your mouth shut or you'll end up in trouble. Or that was my family's experience anyway. That being said, perhaps it's just a matter of perspective, like how I see Finland: there's plenty of good things going on here, like schools are better than in the States, but because I like shooting sports and gun owners are treated like villains here, I'd like to move to the States, to a state where I wouldn't be persecuted because of a fucking hobby (well, that's just one of the reasons why I'd prefer the States). So perhaps the socialist regime just fit some people better while democracy catered better things to others. Pamporovo is freakin' awesome. I was there with KaTrian in the summer of 2012, in hotel Finlandia (ironic, isn't it?). The nature was so beautiful, all those mountain forests... When we went into the hotel's downstairs restaurant, it was closed, but when I asked when it would open, they said they'd open it if there were customers. It was so great that they opened it for us so we had the whole restaurant just for ourselves: we sat at the best table, had candles burning, amazing service, and got one of the greatest meals we've ever had. And it was funny how the waiter was this big, hulking guy who would've made you shit your pants if you met him in a dark alley, but he was the friendliest guy ever. All in all, a great holiday. Oh, I wouldn't portray them as victims either. My folks have worked their asses off to build good lives for themselves even if often they had very little to work with. Now one of my cousins is one of the top news anchors, another is a successful reporter, and my grandfather was a professor at the Sofia uni, but they still all agree that socialism / communism was a mistake, and they all do prefer democracy. It's not so much that it's considered rude, just weird, 'cause usually it's only drunk or mentally unstable people who smile at strangers. Or some creeps, so that's why people are very reserved towards those who look like they actually enjoy life. Yeah, our society is all kinds of weird...
Not as opposite as you might think. My mother shared these exact same memories with me as well. She tells me a lot of her friends were into the Beatles as well. If communism had any positive impact on culture, it would be to show how ingenious people became if they were denied something they really wanted. I remember my uncle (вуйчо, not чичо) told me they built their own refrigerator before there were even any in the market (apparently, all the parts for a rudimentary one were sold, but not a whole fridge). He's quite handy, my uncle; also a common trend among men during communism, and before that as well. Not so much today. Mine didn't, and their children even got help from the government, which is why they were able to purchase an apartment at the other side of the country. They moved from Хайридин to Момчилград. My grandfather was a veterinarian, and his profession was highly valued during those days. He tells me that life got much better for him after communism came, because he was from a poor family and was provided for. I remember he used to have a lot of livestock when I was little, and he says he used to have even more in a plantation he worked in before, and some years after, the transition. I used to go when I was very, very little, but it's now defunct, due to corrupt management and frequent robberies. No argument there. I'm glad you had a nice time in Pamporovo. Personally, I've never been (also something ironic), I've only heard stories from other people. Our mountains now seem to be way better than our seasides, sadly. One of the top news anchors!? Holy...! You're not related to Юксел Къдриев or Ани Салич by any chance, are you?
I've been to Sunny Beach and Golden Sands (I prefer the latter) but I still like mountains better. Витоша is great too, especially for hiking although once when me and my cousins went for a 6h hike, I got a bit fried 'cause I hadn't anticipated such strong sun (which was stupid of me), should've used stronger sun block. But it was a great hike and the... ski lifts, I guess, are great if you're feeling lazy since they grant you such a nice view of the forests, ravines etc. I just wish we'd had a bit more time to explore Pamporovo (we only had a few days). Oh well, there's always the next time... I can PM you about it.
A polite stranger won't let the door slam on you. A friend will get it for you. A best friend will laugh maniacally after he lets it slam in your face.
