Wish granted! Unfortunately, while enjoying your existence as a bird, you are shot down, killed, and eaten by a hunter with only three teeth and one eye. I wish that, while stocking groceries, that all items would automatically rotate themselves.
Woosh! You no longer have to face out those stupid tuna cans. Your bosses praise you for your efficient work, but your coworkers become jealous and no longer talk to you during break. I wish I could read minds.
Poof* You have gained the ability to read minds... finally. Everyone else could already read minds. Now that you are part of the loop, all of your secrets are known by everyone, as you were unaware of their mind reading abilities. You get arrested on multiple accounts of threatening people and many accounts of conspiracy, and everyone knows your pin number. I wish I was a God.
Poof, a god thou art. But since your wish contained an imperfect use of the subjunctive mood, your godliness is equally marred with imperfection. You have all the responsibility of Supreme Maker with none of the ability to act upon it. Your name is Frustration. I wish it weren't so humid!
POOF! It is as dry as it can be. Unforunately, the earth has dried up too and there is no water anywhere..... I wish I could be smokey and the bandit at the same time.
BOOM! Being two characters at once caused you to die a horrible death from the two different biologies mixing. I wish that techno music caused people to move at 100,000 feet per second without any physical heath impacts.
Poof! Done. Techno has caused the population to spontaneously start darting around like atoms in a jar with no health problems what so ever. Cars are now obsolete, as is just about anything else, being as we are all now capable of motion at nearly the speed of thought. Humans have, in fact, transcended to a new and more intelligent species thanks to your most excel-lent wish. However, that new species dies out rather quickly (LOL) because no one can quite figure out the mechanics of "mating" at near light speed. I wish I could do my own tonsillectomy with perfect precision and no pain whatsoever.
WALLA WALLA WASHINGTON!!!!!! You are able to perform that tonsillectomy with absolute precision and no pain. Unfortunately, to make sure you felt no pain anywhere on your body, your whole body is permanently numb. You can feel nothing which causes you to spiral down into a deep depression causing your emtions to disappear as well so you really feel nothing. Welcome to serial killerdom! I wish my long flowing locks of hair were as strong as adamant, as flexible as a yoga instructor and could be controlled with but a single thought.
SHAZAM! You now have adamantite thought controlled hair, but because you can't control your every thought you must live in strict seclusion lest you kill people around you by accident. I wish the Doctor would swing by in the TARDIS and take me along to see the universe.
You, sir, are awesome. BOOM. You are the Doctor's new companion. Unfortunately you and the Doctor run into a bunch of Cybermen working in cahoots with the Daleks and things don't end well. I wish for the 12th Doctor to be even awesomer than his 11 predecessors combined.
Poof! Some surgeon in Uganda is suddenly awesome and has no idea why. I wish I had a little stuffed Tonberry to snuggle as I slept.
A cute stuffed Tonberry appears suddenly upon your bed for you to snuggle while you sleep. But during the day when Tonberry is neglected, he comes to life. To fight boredom he watches movies until one day he stumbles upon Starwars and has an identity crises wondering if he is Yoda's son, or related. After 5 weeks of snuggling Tonberry every night, he suddenly goes missing to search for the meaning of his life. He left you a message regarding his feelings and you feel guilty for the rest of your life knowing you shouldn't have neglected him during the day! I wish I could find the meaning of life.
ZOINK! You know know that the meaning of life is 42 -- but you have no idea what the question is. I wish I could lose 100 lbs safely and quickly without all the sweaty exercise and bland healthy food.
Beep! Beep! Beep! That's the sound of your scale saying you are 100 pounds lighter. Unfortunately you are now broke and unable to buy food because you spent all your money on that liposuction. My wish is to befriend a real live dragon.
BOINK! POP! WONK! You discover on an African safari that you win from a radio contest a real live Dragon. Instantly you befreind him and he you. Everything is going great until you realize that he wants to be more than friends. . . and he is much stronger than you. Fade to Black. My wish is to see the outcome of every decision I make so I can plan accordingly.
Bam! A large scroll appears in front of you containing every single decision you've made your whole life and the consequences which followed. You can now plan accordingly. However, every decision is made up out of variables and risks. You'll never see what's coming!!! I wish that I could get good books for free, new.
​POOF! You have a 1000 good books, free & new, magically appear at your house! Unfortunately, the magic that brought them to you took it from somewhere else, your rich neighbor The Collector. After a tedious investigation, the books are found in your abode and you are charged with robbery. The Collector is friends with the judge and ensures​ ​a hefty sentence​. You spend your days locked behind bars with only used prison books as your source of lecture. I wish I​ ​could space travel.
POOF! You acquire the ability to travel trough space, but before you even realize, the gravitational pull of the sun has you in its grip... BUM! You burn before reaching the surface.. I wish I could fly.
WIZZAM! The ability to fly is yours, just not the ability to deal with the intense cold, harrowing winds and thinner air. Oh, well it was fun while it lasted. I wish to bend reality to my will.
PUFF! The ability to warp reality with your mind is granted. But, you didn't think about (pun intended) the fact that every thought warps reality. Your road rage murders thousands, your nightmares murders millions, and the first time you get drunk you end up destroying Canada, punching three holes in the ozone layer, and doing a movie with Gary Busey and Lindsey Lohan. In retrospect, the movie was the worst thing you ever did to the planet. I wish I could get paid to just hang out with my kid.
Shaky shaky sham! Wish granted. Your job is indeed now to hang out with your kid... because he must be kept under constant security watch, having become a walking nuclear bomb from an accident. Additionally, the job barely pays enough, despite the 7 figure salary, to deal with your child's radioactive waste. I wish I was omnipotent, and omnipresent, with no other gods to contest my unlimited power and information.
Boom Shaka-laka-laka Boom! The fabric of space, the ticking of time. The source of all that is reason and rhyme. Playthings, they are, in omnipotent hands. Yours to control, to bend to commands. Millennia pass, for immortal you've been. No reason to die with powers so keen. But one single slip in a moment of doubt; You conjure up Nothing, existence winks out. I wish my dog would understand the things I explain to her.
KOOLINGPAH! Your dog can understand human language, and soon becomes an internet phenomenon with her amazing abilities to do whatever it is that she is commanded without ever being trained. Her prowes with language eventually becomes so great that she can speak all human languages, colloquialisms and all. She soon decides to run away, and become a voice actor for a company that specializes in localization of Japanese anime. She calls you on holidays to see how you're doing. I wish that I could see perfectly without glasses.
You can, and in fact, see things no human was meant to see. Unfortunately, upon seeing a Cthulhu style being, you go insane to the point of being locked up in a nut house. (Woops! Forgot to add my wish) I wish that everyone could speak, write, and read, every language on Earth.
