The funny thing about unwanted writing advice

Is it really harder to write funny stories more than serious ones? I don't think this is the case, but I have heard this from other writers. I was at this thing where this other writer was telling me that I probably shouldn't try to be funny when it comes to writing. That it's really hard to pull off and fails most of the time. She has never read my work, but was basically telling me that I probably suck. The conversation got a little weird.

Do you guys include humor in your stories? Or are your stories more serious? I've done both and I really don't see one as more challenging than the other. If I had to pick one, personally, I think serious stories are harder to pull off well. How do you feel about that?

Also, I don't think this is common in the writing world, but I really hate it when some people think they know everything and are judgmental at the idea that someone is doing something different than they are. Or because they struggle with something it has to mean that it's automatically hard for everyone. This other writer is not any more successful than I am. We know people in common. It just felt like she was talking down to me and I really didn't understand why.

I guess there are two issues going on in this post, but I just wanted to see if people thought writing funny was any harder than writing serious or vice versa. And how would you have handled someone so instant that she knew better? I ended up cutting the conversation short and distancing myself from her. It's too bad because I do enjoy the company of other writers. Maybe she is a decent enough writer but really sucks at being a good human.

 

First I'd like to say - all stories are hard! But being the serious person I am, serious stories tend to come to me more naturally. I have written a few funny lines in my time, and a couple of stories that I would classify as comedies. They were fun to write. I am at this time feeling an urge to write another funny story. Funny stories rock.

Yeah, there are a lot of Judgey-McJudgey-faces out there. I just ignore them. You can tell when someone is really wanting to help and support or just judge. Help and support I accept. Judging feels different.

 

On the basis that they're all difficult, I would suggest that humour can pose particular issues. It's arguable there's a general sense of what might be considered tragic, or uplifting, or sad, or infuriating even. Humour is much more personal; the things that make one person laugh can leave another cold, while both may share the sadness when a character dies or suffers in other ways. Humour is important to a story, in a general sense (with exceptions like The Road), as it can be difficult to fully engage with something exclusively written with a serious tone. Life just ain't like that.

On the other point, I believe it's largely accepted that writers should give credence to writing advice that makes sense and is helpful. Critical analysis of your strength in writing humour should, at the very least, include some knowledge of something you've written. That opinion expressed to you is easily dismissed. I'd not rush to judge her humanity, though. There's quite a number of decent human beings who are contrary and opinionated.

 

Whenever I got upset by something another person said, my mom told me, "Consider the source and let it go in one ear and out the other." It's a very useful skill.

I developed a small cache of phrases for use when I' must interact with someone who is sharing negative/unwanted/unsolicited/unwarranted advice. "I'll take that into consideration" is particularly useful. It's hard to argue with, doesn't spark a comeback, and allows one to remain perfectly polite while remaining noncommittal and privately thinking things like, "Go chase a parked car, why doncha?"

Obviously this person's comment hooked into your own psyche, and I'm sorry it has discomforted you. However, you know the observation is erroneous, so the hell with it. You could always make her a character in a revenge story...

 

I think it really depends on the writer. Their life experiences, book/movie/TV consumption. Maybe even trauma? Depression? I'd add a dash of intelligence, but we're talking about writers. You do need to be at least a little smart to be funny, and you definitely have to be smart to be a good writer.

When I started getting more serious about writing, that's what I did - be serious in my writing. Some of it works, some of it falls flat. I'm not a very emotional person, and I don't tend to get emotionally involved in the characters of the stories I read, so naturally I don't have any innate abilities in writing that way.

As I've progressed in the craft, I've learned to lean in to the short list of things that I seem to be naturally proficient in. I know that it's possible to become better at other aspects of writing through a lot of study, patience, and practice, but realistically, I simply do not have the luxury of time. I am much better at writing humorous stories than serious. I don't know exactly why. Maybe it's because so much about life seems so tragic, that to deal with that reality, I just have to laugh.

Regarding people who talk out of their ass about others, when they clearly have no authority to do so, I say, take The Dude's approach:

 

I just wanted to say or add here that this writer heard from other people at the party that my stuff was funny, and then came up to me and was like, "You know, is not an obtainable goal for a writer try being funny. Getting lucky with one story doesn't mean that's really your thing." When I asked her if she had read the story in question she said no, but of what she had heard it didn't really seem like her thing. WTF? I mean there was alcohol involved, but she didn't seem drunk. I felt a little corned. And like I somehow wanted to defend myself, but I also didn't want to draw attention to myself or the things she was saying. Honestly, in this situation I had no idea how to respond or really what to say. And she kept going and going and going on.

She and I are both short story writers and have both published in some good literary journals, though, not the same ones. I've have had more than one story published, but I made one really big sale years ago and I knew exactly what story she was referring to even if she didn't read it. I didn't really feel I needed to tell her anything else. She was quite abrasive and like literally came up to say this. She then asked if I had anything "forthcoming." I don't. And I haven't published anything in a while. I'm just going through some hard times in life and I started to question myself. And feel embraced. Her meanness was delivered is a very sly and sophisticated manner. And I was trying to also see if there was something I was supposed to pick up from this.

I didn't even wanted to go to this party. But just like the advice for writing short stories I arrived late and left early. I don't really encounter other writers acting this way toward me or each other. So, I guess I'm still sort of wondering what people thought about humor in writing, thinking if this fired people up here or you guys raised good points, I guess maybe I would understand more? Maybe not? I don't know. This really bothered me and it's not something I really want to talk to any I know in real life about. This woman is a good short story writer. I've read at least one of her short stories. I'm in no way bringing her talent into question. But this was my first interaction with her. I still feel shitty about it. And I dreading running into her again.

 

Oh, that's different. Much more assholey. Sounds like she's sounding off on a particular problem she's facing in her own writing and looking to share the consternation. Her advice, obviously, doesn't merit consideration. The person delivering it is fast approaching the same conclusion, if not there already. Nothing worse than that civilised evisceration where the offended party looks petty for taking issue with the politely delivered assault.

 

Oh, yeah, being an out and out $@%! is really different from merely giving unsolicited advice. Catriona's stock phrase for dealing with nasty remarks from snarky people: "I'm sorry you feel that way." This is followed by quick and strategic retreat, with or without an explanation like, "Excuse me, I was just headed to the powder room/kitchen/Alpha Centauri," or "I think I hear my mother calling."

What nonsense. Writers obtain that goal all the time. Bailey White, Garrison Keillor, and Erma Bombeck immediately spring to mind. One of the women in my writers group writes hysterically funny flash fiction. We all wait in gleeful anticipation for her turn to read, and are doing our collective best to convince her to seek publication for some of the pieces. That kind of humor I can't write. My head doesn't work that way. What I can do pretty well is blend humor into "serious" work for balance, contrast, and comic relief.

Obviously you have already obtained the goal of writing a successfully humorous story. You'll do it again. I believe in you and so does she, or she wouldn't have tried to undermine you. Nothing this unspeakable woman said means a damn thing unless you allow it to mean something. I repeat: the hell with her.

Okay, I'm done. Any more and I'm gonna start singing "Let It Go" or "Shake It Off," and no one wants to hear my versions of Elsa and Taylor.

 

She's just insecure and nasty and you look like prey. Perfectly normal to feel shitty about it because it's a shitty interaction to have to endure. Her writing talent is moot.

Frankly if you attempt to defend yourself in good faith she'll use that against you. She'll repeat what you said without context to other people in order to steer the boat. Suddenly you're the insecure one. Hindsight is 20/20 but dedicated sarcasm doesn't hurt as a defense. "Oh yes, I know never to try to be funny. No self respecting writer would ever attempt something like that. In fact that story was one of my most serious endeavours."

Edit, to add: your goals and stories do not need defending, because they are your own. It's a social sleight of hand trying to convince you otherwise.

 

Everyone’s humour is different. I have a quirky sense of humour which, I am told, verges on dark. I also take the piddle out of myself.

Yes, I include a humorous twist… my Co author and I write real life. Reviews and feedback we have received includes the story made them laugh and cry. I can write humour, but I don’t try to be funny. I write how I think.

thank them for their advice and move on. I listen to all advice offered then sift through as to which best suits my style.

 

That sounds like me. A huge percentage of what I've written in the past is comedy, but then I found myself writing something set in a sort of comedy world, only I wasn't going for jokes. Took me a long time to characterise that, but I finally realized it's whimsical writing.

I used to have a saying: "Comedy makes anything possible."

My comedy was usually pretty wild and set in a comedic world (rather than people saying or doing funny things in a more serious setting). Once you put your story in a cartoonish world where slapstick or screwball comedy is a thing, you can have anything happen. It's sort of like giving the story (or the writer) a few drinks, it opens up all kinds of possibilities and the inhibitions dissipate. Humor gives a great boost to creativity.

 

This is interesting and pretty much sums up my approach to handling comedy in my writing. Often when things are funny it's because of the world I've created. My characters are usually quite serious and in somewhat dire situations. Sort of like so tragic it becomes funny. I like some absurdity in my fiction. I often try to think of sort of crazy or absurd situations when kicking off a new story and go from there. And then the world of my characters normalizes these sort of situations. I think you said it better, but, yes, our approach seems very similar. I agree that humor does seem to boost creativity, at least for me it does.

 

I think our comedy worlds are very different. I haven't really gone near tragedy yet. My friend and I started writing our funny stuff based on Cheech & Chong and Bill & Ted, so they're more like postmodern comedy. Once we had a bunch of TV detectives show up and start fighting. We were pretty young then, probably still in high school or shortly after. A few years later I started writing something more like surreal, almost absurdist stories. But still no tragedy.

 

I don't know your writing, but I really do relate to what you're saying. I play around the surreal and absurdist type stories as well. Maybe I just didn't say it right, but I appreciate your view and your approach.

 

Comedy can be hard to write if you don't understand it. I use comedy in my work, though I do it more as a comic relief than a comic story. Getting a reader to laugh with or at a character helps them to identify with the character.

 

My stories tend to be rather serious, mostly because I struggle with writing comedy. I ain't a person to tell jokes either - my humor (when with friends) relies on physical comedy/impressions that work in face-to-face conversations but do not translate well into written text. I do occasionally include a funny quip or two and some banter between my characters though, but I'm careful when doing so to ensure that:

• I am able to come off as funny rather than cringe
• Don't overdo it since my stories tend to be serious and deal with issues such as war, politics, psychological trauma, etch

But if you can write a good comedic story, don't see why you should avoid it.

 

You will find a fair amount of black humor in front line troops. It is all about stress relief.

 

Some of the ones I remember from Desert Storm were:
I flew 10,000 miles to smoke a camel, and all the px has is Marlboros.

Or

Walmart refuses to open stores in the middle east because there is a Target on every corner.

Not great jokes, but funny in the moment.

 

So, I'm pretty frustrated that it would appear I will be seeing more of this other writer. My friend told me she gave her my number and the three of us are supposed to have brunch this weekend. My friend said she was so happy we hit it off, and I really didn't feel like I could tell her how I really felt. I am new to the city. I'm not actually looking to make new friends, but I would like to hold on to the ones I do have. I don't imagine I will ever be friends with this woman, but maybe I have to give her another chance for the sake of my friend.

I also have writing news. I just sold a story to a one of my favorite publications. And, get this, I think that story is maybe the funniest thing I have written. I did actually try to be funny with this one. It is a very serious publication, publishing my very funny story. I didn't even tell my friend yet because the humor in literary works isn't a topic I want to revisit at bunch. But I guess if I'm asked again about anything coming out, I have a better answer than last time. It's weird because this is something I would like to celebrate, but it feels more like I have to hide or downplay my success.

 

Congratulations in a big way. Delighted for you (adorn the rejections thread with a smiley why don't ya).
I'd not worry about that other writer, she can have her opinion and you yours. Say as much or as little as you want about this success and enjoy their congratulations. Well done!

 

Congratulations, deadrats! That is outstanding.

That's called modesty, my dear, and it is a very attractive trait in a person.

Once upon a time I went to a party and met a gentleman who introduced himself to me by his first name and told me he worked with my husband at the hospital. When I asked what he did, he looked a little embarassed. He scuffed the rug with his toe, and admitted he was a doctor, though what he really wished he could do was play french horn like my husband. When I told my husband about the encounter, he laughed uproariously. The guy was one of the top neurosurgeons in the state, but as far as he was concerned, he worked with my husband who was a carpenter.

Modesty. Attractive. But don't carry it too far: share your pleasure with your friend. That's what friends are for. And with any luck, she'll mention it to the other person at the brunch who may actually be in a kinder, more equitable mood this time. I hope so.

 

Congratulations, well done… and you got paid which is an added bonus.

 

I was wondering if you guys think I should tell my friend about the story I sold before brunch with her and this woman? If I do, I'm sure my friend will bring it up at brunch. I mean, I could announce it during brunch. That might sort of set the mood (a happy sort of mood) for this meetup. But I wonder if that's petty. I mean I would be jealous if this woman sold a story to this publication. And, truthfully, I'm not trying to give this woman any reason to like me less.

I am sure the topic of writing and publishing is going to come up if not dominate the brunch. So, as much as it feels a little weird to bring it up, it is going to be also weird not to, right? And, if I tell my friend, I'm sure she is going to tell people which is something I should be more than fine with. Getting into this publication is a really big deal for me. How would you guys handle this situation?

 

I thinking about not showing up. I really hate being around people like this woman from the party.