Hello! Help me develop this mystery violent thriller drama action story. Give me advice such as in the characters, plot, settings, etc. This story is for people who have the patience to read this long story. What do you think of this long story for one of the mystery thriller drama movies I want to make? I am warning you that the story is long so this post is only for people who have the patience to read the long story. Reading the story is like reading a novel that is very short. The story is divided into 28 parts. By the way, below are the 28 parts of the long story: links deleted by moderator - if you want crit you have to post it in the workshop, excerpts not the whole thing, also you need to fulfill the two for one workshop requirement first. see the Forum Rules
I read some of it before we deleted the links and the major issue was that it was virtually exclusively telling, every chapter read like a summary of the things that had happened with no dialogue and no emotional connection to any of the characters my strong suggestion would be to read more to get an idea of how authors do it, then to rewrite a single chapter and put it in the workshop for critique
I also saw it, and really it read more like an outline. What should take a paragraph or two (or a page) in a story was done in a sentence, what should be a chapter was done in a paragraph. Actually it looked like the Snowflake Method 4-page synopsis of a story, which is a part of the idea development process. It needs to be developed and expanded and slowed down considerably. But it might serve as a good development tool for the process. At this stage you want to check and make sure everything is working and goes toward either plot or character. Do your reworking at this stage, rather than after writing it all up in detail.
The other thread that also got deleted was this absolutely massive document about the story world and charater back story, my basic feeling about that was that it was far too complicated, i mean even GRRM couldn't handle that many different syndicates and characters. I've been writing for years with numerous novels under my belt and i wouldn't try to handle something that complex I got the feeling that the Op was confusing developing the world/characters with developing the actual story ETA : I just undeleted that thread because most of it its not technically a rule break - it got trashed at the time because the staff were fed up with hunting down and deleting links and writing for crit from the OP and didnt want to be faffed with deleting the bits that broke the rules which i've now done... if you feel like wasting ten minutes or so you can find it here https://www.writingforums.org/threads/armando-king-of-the-battlefield.176249/ The other thing i'd say about this is that Armando is overpowered to the point of being a mary sue, vis the bit where he single handedly kills 800 heavily armed spetsnaz commandos while armed only with a bow and arrow. - he's basically an incredibly overpowered version of John Rambo
