I'm working on a novel where the main character is a woman who's highly successful in life and I want to focus on how her devotion to her work might put strain on her marriage and her kids. My problem is what will, other than the possibility business failure, could effect her to the point that it causes problems in her marriage and with her kids. I hope what I'm asking for makes sense. v_v
You mean besides no time for soccer games and too many take out dinners when hubby won't do his part? An affair or just suspicions because one or more of the spouses spends too much time with other people? Hubby's ego when she makes more money? She needs to move for the job so he has to give up his career, or vice versa, he wants her to give up her job because he wants to move for his career? Guess I'm confused about what you are asking.
Well, when I worked 90 hour weeks and was pursuing my career, we ate takeaway food most nights. The house was a mess, everyone cranky and tired. If it lasted for years, I can see that impacting the family, because you end up neglecting them.
A friend of mine gave up his building job (he was a brick layer) so his wife could pursue a career in banking. They had 3 kids aged 1-4 at the time and outside childcare was not an economic option so he sacrificed his own career for hers and reared the children, did all the shopping, cleaning, washing everything as she studied most nights he even had her bank uniforms ironed and hanging ready for her to step into in the mornings. Most nights he slept in the spare room with the youngest so's not to wake her. He was a champion kick boxer, fought for Ireland, won European belts but after 6 years of child minding he was a really pussy, didn't drink, gave up the smokes, didn't play ball, forgot his mates and his wife left him for her boss in the bank! That's one effect a traditional role reversal can have - if this is what you are looking for. My sister however is a financial controller for a company in Dublin, very career driven but manages to maintain a great private/business life with her husband and 2 kids. Both are at school so that makes things easier but she drops them off every morning and he collects them. His hours are 7-3, hers are 9-5 so it works. They share the chores. Sometimes things work out quite well.
well besides tones of hours, early mornings, late nights their can be lots of face time with clients, and drinks with them and co workers. ill tell you from my experience its hard enough to have a dating life. you can also trow in issues like the other being jelous or resentfull of your pay check. their is also the quick awkwardness i experienced of your date being and occupy wall street person when you work in finance.
The man in her life will feel like a loser in his failure to be the bread-winner. And she will attempt to soothe his bruised ego, telling him it doesn't matter and what a fantastic and important job he's doing in running the home. But secretly she will grow to absolutely despise him, lose all respect for him and go off and have an affair with a high-flying real-estate mogul with a property empire stretching across the U.S and Canada. The real-estate mogul's cock is also bigger than her husband's. The kids will reach their teenage years and find solace in drugs and alcohol and will subsequently be arrested robbing a 7-11. The former husband will eventually throw himself off the Williamsburg bridge into the Hudson. His body will never be found. The property mogul will stay with his own wife and call off the affair. The woman, devastated, will lose all interest in her business affairs. Eerything she has worked for will crumble around her and she will devolve into drug addiction and prostitution, winding up living in a crack-house in Birmingham, Alabama.
[MENTION=52161]erebh[/MENTION]: It's so sad his wife couldn't appreciate what he did for the family. That's so sad. I know a lot of women who would give anything for a decent guy like that. I hope your friend found someone who loves him and is happy now. I know what such a loss of family can do to a devoted father
[MENTION=35110]jazzabel[/MENTION] He kinda lost it for a while, went berserk on the drink - quite a bad alcoholic in fact. He hadn't worked outside the home for 10 years or so, had no friends, couldn't get a job. She took him to court and got full custody of the kids, she also got the house and to rub it in, moved her boss in. They since sold up, he got a small compensation from it and drank it while she upgraded to a huge house in the hills so to speak. Anyway, only his love for the kids saved him really and now he's living in Scotland trying to get his life back and sober up. Shit happens...
[MENTION=52161]erebh[/MENTION]: I can only imagine how the poor man felt. One time, I was working in A&E as a junior doctor, and we had a case of near drowning. A young tradesman (I think he was also a builder) gorgeous, strong, hard working, and the wife did a runner on him, cheated with his best friend and took his three children to Spain. After six months of trying to track them down, see the kids, anything, he tidied up all his bills and business and if it wasn't for the two coppers buying an ice-cream and spotting him not emerge back from the water, he would've committed suicide by drowning. He never even mentioned to anyone he was depressed. Luckily, I had loads of time, talked to him, encouraged him, basically did an emergency counselling session, sent him back home to stay with his parents for s while and referred him to a friend, a very nice male GP who was more than happy to continue treating him. A few months later, the guy brought me flowers, nurses took it because I was with a patient, with the most heart-wrenchingly beautiful note. He was almost completely recovered, wife had to bring kids back because they got shared custody, and he thanked me for restoring his faith in humanity. I was so happy for him, but what a hellish blow he must have suffered. Try regaining your trust after that. Horrible.
I would recommend you watch a Japanese movie called Tokyo Sonata (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tokyo_Sonata), which somewhat touches on the subject. In fact this is a real societal problem in Japan, so many films and books talk about it.
What about the very fact that having a successful career and a life full of hobbies can actually make it pretty hard to see where kids would fit in at all. I don't know the age of your MCs, but if they are mid thirties then there's a very real and pressing issue right there - she's successful and career orientated (and maybe has hobbies incompatible with being pregnant/having a small baby) and he wants kids, preferably sooner rather than later. She's ambivalent, but knows that if they're going to do it, then it has to be soon, for obvious reasons. Then add in all the obvious financial pressures with the main bread winner being out of action for say a year, and if she runs her own business, the prospect of no maternity pay, plus maybe a great lifestyle he doesn't want to compromise on, and there's a lot of potential conflict right there! And then, if you're looking at someone older (you imply they already have kids), you have a whole heap of resentment from her about the effect having kids has had on her life. It's a very real issue for several people I know at the moment! It doesn't take much more than a feeling from either side that not having kids would have been a better option in order to fracture the parent/child relationship.
If man have succesfull women, he has always hard time not look like at front of her like douche or loser
All of the above, plus the threat of an impending break down and consequent burn out from juggling too much and too much pressure. also a relationship falling apart. this is my experience of the situation anyway. x
Lol, Thanks everyone for your advice! I've enjoyed reading all the responses and have taken serious thought into how I'll shape the novel or short story from here on out! I'm very gracious!
Oh, crap, didn't know there's more. Dude, you should make this a book...of course, you'd have to add a fake ending about him making a comeback in kickboxing
