Several times in the last couple weeks other posters have seemed concerned that threads I was involved in were becoming heated, when I didn't think they were heated at all. It seemed as if everyone was discussing the issue at hand, and while they might not have been agreeing, they weren't getting personal or anything. I think that's partly because some people are uncomfortable with any sort of disagreement, even if it's constructive. That discomfort is their problem, for me - I think the best way to learn is to freely air different perspectives and "test" them against other perspectives and I don't plan to curb my opinions about writing or other issues of creativity. But I think possibly another reason is the old "hard to get tone from typing" problem. I'm typing the words in a calm way, but apparently others are reading them in a heated way. So... emojis? I don't really like them and think they're a bit infantilizing, but are they the best tool to show that there's no hostile intent? Is there something else that would work just as well but be less cartoon-y?
Emojis are probably the easiest way to go about it, unfortunately. I often try to find something in the other person's comment that I can vocally agree with, to show that I'm not just trying to argue, and because it comes off as less aggressive to be like "Yeah, I completely see what you're saying about XYZ, but on the other hand ..." rather than only picking up on the thread you disagree with / think should be explored further. And peppering in little positive buffer words like "yeah" and "sure" helps. I also tend to outright state things like, "I'm not trying to be argumentative, I'm just trying to understand your point of view," but it can be hard to know when to say that.
Honestly, I think they do serve a purpose. Many times I've written a post and worried it may be taken the wrong way when someone else read it, so I added an emoji to change the tone. While it is a rather cheap way to express emotion, it can definitely help convey the tone you are going for
I find it validating that you even use 'her' and 'technique' in your question. It's personal for me. It is her B-channel, that conveys to me the parallel visual stream to her posts, done without cartoons (which I'm tempted to use myself). It is implied, especially when she doesn't use it, because I expect it to be there. It is nod or throwback to the theatric (*exit stage left*), and self-parody, that strikes a chord. 'Carefully chosen words' from a post above brought it to mind immediately. Ironic, silly, effective. Plus, I don't see well, even with glasses, so I can barely tell what the damn emoji looks like anyway. It's an adaptation. Create one that works for you, and let me check it out.
I think both of these reasons work together to cause tension. Honestly, I think the best way to go about it is to to act as if there is no heat involved, because there probably isn't. And, if there is, this isn't the place to blatantly fight with someone, anyways. I guess this is probably the "be good in public" talk that I had to hear throughout my childhood. I say be the bigger person. More respect that way. I really don't think there is, except for choose your words wisely.
