I found this while I was looking for a good site to spout off about how much I hate scripted customer service. I think it is raucous! “Here at the Phone Company we handle eighty-four billion calls a year. Serving everyone from presidents and kings to scum of the earth. (snort) We realize that every so often you can’t get an operator, for no apparent reason your phone goes out of order [snatches plug out of switchboard], or perhaps you get charged for a call you didn’t make. We don’t care. Watch this [bangs on a switch panel like a cheap piano] just lost Peoria. (snort) You see, this phone system consists of a multibillion-dollar matrix of space-age technology that is so sophisticated, even we can’t handle it. But that’s your problem, isn’t it ? Next time you complain about your phone service, why don’t you try using two Dixie cups with a string. We don’t care. We don’t have to. (snort) We’re the Phone Company!” – Lily Tomlin, as Ernestine BTW, I think Miss Tomlin deserves a national holiday. She is a National Treasure.
I worked ATT customer service for a while. It's amazing how many things we were supposed to say word for word. Some of it was for legal purposes. In those cases, half of the customers didn't understand what we meant so we had to repeat the info as we would have said it without a script.
"One ringy-dingy. Two ringy- dingies.* Hello, is this the party to whom I am speaking?<snort>" Her routine always cracked me up * With her finger poking down her blouse.
i loooooved her ernestine routines... i was lucky enough to sit next to her on an LA-honolulu flight once and she was a gracious and charming seatmate, even though she was hard at work on a routine for her stand-up gig...
i also loved 'edith ann', her little girl in the big rocking chair personna... thanks for that clip!... it was fun being reminded how 'innocent' tv was in those days... wish we could have 'em back!
My newest most hated scripted line: “Have you been satisfied with the quality of this call and the information provided?” This is the latest question de jour. I hear it all the time now. What happens when the answer is ambiguous? There are two questions being asked here. I might have been very satisfied with the person and their demeanor, but not with the information. The information may have been clear, but the person insufferable. And I can tell you what people from my culture will think when they hear a question like this: If I answer yes, then I give away my right to complain later because we are probably being recorded. If I answer no, I am going to be put through an insufferable questionnaire right now.
It's even more ambiguous. The information provided may be complete and clear, but not what the customer wanted to hear. It is really a very poorly worded question, especially at a company whose business is bridging communications barriers! Oh wait - is this part of your company's sctipt? I hope not.
No, not my script. The only thing I am obliged to say is: “Hello, this is Wrey, interpreter #### for Spanish. How may I help you?” After that I go off of whatever the client says or requests. The mentioned ambiguous question is just the latest in an ever growing number of pat lines I hear from other companies.
