I'm just curious if most people have trouble when they start knowing how to write down what they see. I mean I know I want to show them what I see, but I'm really kind of unsure of how to phrase it all. I mean take for example the story that I'm kind of working on. I have a few things jotted down. Snippets of dialouge I want to put in and all, but then when I go okay lets start writing I get that big blank screen that doesn't seem to want to be filled. Which makes me wonder if I see my story at all. I mean for the start of my story I see my main character crashed on the floor in the fetal position, teeth clenched, fists balled and he's beating them against the side of his head, fighting back sobs and whimpers that try and escape, and taking quick ragged breaths like you do when you are in a great deal of pain. His muscles are tired because his whole body has been contracted. He's just locked in that position as this hellish otherwordly shriek is washing over him until he can't take it anymore and a blood chilling scream erupts out of him. So I'm just wondering if it's normal to see this type of thing in your head but not know how to describe it. I'm curious if it's just because I'm just starting to write that I'm having so much trouble, or is it something more. I mean it makes me wonder if I just don't have the required talent that's needed to take a story from my mind and put it to paper. Just curious if anyone else has experienced this. If you have is there any techniques or methods you used to overcome it? Just to be clear I'm not asking for a crit or anything on the above it's just an example of what I'm having trouble with. I'm not wanting anyone to do the work for me, I'm just curious if anyone has had a similar problem and might have pointers to help me start meshing this out.
I think you're expecting way way too much of yourself. From the sound of it you're hoping for some sort of extreme perfection in describing something JUST RIGHT when the truth is...you already know how to describe things. Because as the other replies said, you just did. What you described is just fine--all you need to do is perhaps change the tense and write it as if it's taking place in the story, rather than you telling it to us on this message board. He lay crashed on the floor in a fetal position, teeth clenched, fists balled; he beat them against the side of his head, fighting back sobs and whimpers that tried to escape, and taking quick ragged breaths like one does when one is in a great deal of pain. His muscles were tired because his whole body had been contracted. He was locked in that position as a hellish otherwordly shriek washed over him until he couldn't take it anymore and a blood-chilling scream erupted out of him. Something like that. See? Just write what YOU see first off, and try not to worry whether others can see it. Chances are, if you're writing what you see (like the above), others can see it too.
Yes it happens to me, but I just close my eyes and imagine it and something will come up. My only problem is choosing the right word(s) sometimes.
Sometimes writers blanche at the prospect of writing several versions of a specific scene, but it really is one of the best methods of creating that 'multi-dimentionalism' required if 'completeness' is to be achieved. You've already written one short description. Now take it moment by moment and expand on it, taking in external and internal conditions. Include the senses; smell, sound, touch, etc, and all the many manifestations of stress and tension that happen in different parts of the body - the head, the abdomen, the muscles, the teeth, the eyes, etc, etc. Can he taste the salt of his tears and feel their heat burning into his clammy skin? Textures are also important to creating atmosphere; a sense of scene. What's the carpet like? Is it rough on his skin as he thrashes about? Is there furniture he might crash against in his torment? Is it raining outside, to add to the absolute gloom of his moment? Has he long hair to grasp in his agony in between bouts of head-thumping? Are his ears blocked during his scream, or do they pop with the rush of primal expression? Has he long fingernails to dig into his palms or drag across the back of his head? Only you can answer. Explore each aspect of your piece, going as deep as you can; never fearing to salvage a potential gem before discarding floatsom. Anyway, the main thing is to enjoy the process of experimentation, using what you learn to create a polished diamond. Good luck with it.
Bravetenebrous, I understand what you're saying. You mean you have images in your head, but sometimes have trouble getting them out on paper. It's normal to struggle with finding the right words to describe the movie playing inside your mind. The longer you work at it, the more naturally it will come to you. Judging by your above description, I'd say you're already working past the problem.
Originally Posted by Bravetenebrous View Post I'm just curious if most people have trouble when they start knowing how to write down what they see. I mean I know I want to show them what I see, but I'm really kind of unsure of how to phrase it all. I mean take for example the story that I'm kind of working on. I have a few things jotted down. Snippets of dialouge I want to put in and all, but then when I go okay lets start writing I get that big blank screen that doesn't seem to want to be filled. Which makes me wonder if I see my story at all. I sometimes find it difficult to explain in words, what I see in front of me. Sometimes the words will flow without pause but, when I take a second look at what I have written, it turns out to be a pile of rubbish. Other times I struggle to put words together, to describe the scenery or objects with proper imagery. This at the moment is my present situation. While I am trying to describe a barn dance in the middle of the country, the only only imagery that comes to mind is: Farmers and their families getting together in some hay shed, dancing around some cows. This is a drastic image and it does not do farmers or country folk in general any justice, for that I must apologize. Anyhow as I was saying I like yourself struggle to do any image justice when transferring it from verbal/visual imagery into the written word.
This part of what creed said is what I have. I have great ideas and I can imagine them, but they are so detailed and complex images and ideas that I have a hard time writing them down. Especially when its something I can only view in my head.
If anything, I have trouble choosing the right word for my descriptions. Sometimes I'll realize that's not what I wanted at all, and I'll go back and just imagine what it is I really pictured, and then the word I'm looking for usually comes in by then.
My biggest problem is that I am very particular when choosing words. I dislike using certain words repeatedly whenever it can be avoided and always need to find one with a specific "ring" to it. If the word doesn't feel right, I find another.
