I am planning to apply for multiple MFA in creative writing programs in the USA. I however have some concerns. During the final year of my undergraduate a few years back, I unwittingly offended a professor as I had a mental breakdown and had a brief episode of psychosis. I sent the professor some rather unhinged emails, rambling about how I was being followed, and displaying an apparent obsession with certain celebrities by claiming we were related. I do not care about celebrities. I was having an episode of psychosis, meaning that I wasn't even in reality any longer. I would see that it was a rainy day and would make conclusions that were completely insane, such as 'oh it's raining because I'm sad, I control the weather.' I would see someone glancing at me and believe that I knew them in a 'past life'. Although, normally, I do not believe in reincarnation at all. Obviously, I wasn't myself. I was ill. I am now being observed by a doctor and have not encountered any further issues, I’ve never had another psychotic break so far or before that episode; that was a single isolated incident. However I have reasons to believe that the professor might try to hinder my applications to further my studies, perhaps by sending slanderous emails about me, as before my episode I had discussed my options with him and he is aware of which universities I will be applying to. I know this is far fetched, but I thought I would voice my concern anyway as he graded my coursework unfairly after I sent those emails. I do not know why the professor is being spiteful to me, I’ve always been a good and virtuous student, I was always responsible and most of the faculty liked me very much. I am not mentally ill, that was a one time incident, even so, now I am very much observed and supported by professionals, family and friends. If the universities / their MFA department were to receive emails slandering me, claiming I was mentally unstable, would this negatively affect my chances of getting into the MFA programs? No matter how unlikely, if such a thing were to happen, how would the university/ies deal with it? And if the professor does send out emails to the universities I would be applying to, what course of action do you suggest I can take? Should I include in my letters and statement of purpose to watch out for slanderous emails about me? Obviously I cannot ask directly if the university has received such and such emails about me. There is no concrete way I can know whether the professor sends any emails about me or not. If there was a way I could know for sure and have concrete proof, I would know roughly the action to take, but as the situation here is very complicated, I am unable to attain concrete proof or even know for certain if he would take such action, I'm wondering what I could possibly do? P.S. Sorry if this is the wrong forum, move it if you will, I couldn't find a suitable forum for this, but PLEASE do not delete or remove my post, I really need help with this, I am having sleepless nights worrying about this.
You need to discuss this with the doctor whose care you are under, and I suggest you do as a matter of urgency.
why is it a matter of urgency? I am not mentally ill currently, and my doctor says it is very unlikely I will experience psychosis again. Regardless I will talk to my doctor about this. Thank you for your suggestion, although I can't see what a doctor could do in such a situation.
I didn't want to be explicit, and I'm not a medical professional, so this is just an opinion. But this very much sounds like the beginning of paranoia, and if it is, you need to get help before it gets worse. Mods, please delete this post if inappropriate.
I'm sorry, but you are being rude and offensive. You are displaying discriminatory behavior towards me. I already said that the scenario is unlikely, but I want to know what to do in case it happens. I did not list down all the reasons that led me to be concerned about the possibility of this, it would be too much to type. No offence, but you do not know the whole situation. If I had neglected to mention that I had an episode of psychosis and instead said this issue exists because of drunk texting, there is no way you would have responded the way you did. Please inform and educate yourself more about mental health and kindly practice more compassion.
