all of your other responses are denoted by writing style and your ability to weave a story, however. On a personal note Words fail to describe how much I disdain it when authors do this. Just like if you use a werewolf, use a werewolf. Do not tell me, Well they don't really shape change, and they are not hurt by silver... but they are werewolves. No.. No they are not... sorry. I just have this increasable peeve when people do this. Use Vampires or do not use Vampires. Do not go off and make this totally different thing and call it a Vampire.
^I understand what you mean, but I'm personally not a fan of Bram Stoker's view on vampires, what hurts them, etc. Just think about it...WHY would the sun hurt them? WHY is garlic dangerous? It just doesn't make any sense whatsoever. The 'Dracula'-type vampires anger me. Greatly *smiles* So yeah, I guess we're on two different sides of the camp on this one. ~Christian
No we are not, nor do I imagine we shall ever be. But since it is your story and you are free to write what you like, just as I am free to not like what you write. As such this ends our discussion regarding this.
in response to ungood the whole point of it being a vampire is it sucks blood, no? and it does that through bitting. any myths about them can be disregarded as "the crazy Transylvanians made it up...". other than that i feel that there are some points that need addressing. 1. if she cant eat human food what does she do at lunch time? she does go to a high school. it'd be odd if she never ever ate. 2. how are the vampires supposed to drink blood with no fangs? it seems to me that they'ed have a hard time. they dont just bite a chunck out of peoples necks do they? 3. why would a vampire bite the MC in the chest? without fangs he wouldnt do any damage. unless they can open their mouth like 200 degrees. 4. even though the girl might be 200 it doesnt mean she cant be just like a high schooler. that could be where her emotional (if not physical and mental) state of being is. 5. why would the bad guys single her out? yeah shes old but so what? unless shes been trained to fight or has some fancy super strong bloodline she ought to be pretty useless. theyed be better of with some seriel killer vampire from new york. 6. both your characters seem quite boring. (MC: cheapskate; solitary; piano/guitar. Girl: Lonely; likes dogs.) cant you make them just alittle more interesting? maybe? girl is deathly afraid of bats despite being a vampire, loves the smell of garlic, guy has an effnicity with russia; specifically translvania, he's scared of all the things vampires are supposed to be; hates garlic, afraid of water, dislikes bright sunlight. 7. ive seen other stories where they have some 400 year old person with enternal life that acts and looks just like their 16 or 20 whatever. when you really think about it what makes old people senile and grumpy, or classic grandmas? the fact that they cant be who they were. an old guy might have once been some awesome surfer dude, but now hes old and cant surf. that changes something in who he can be. but if you dont age you can be that surfer dude as long as you want. youll just end up being really wise and an awesome surfer. 8. do the vampires just want to control each other or humans too? 9. what happens after the MC becomes a vamp.? do the rest of the badies come looking and the couple has to fight/look for help? whats so bad about being a vamp.? he has a cute vamp girl to spend his life with and no family anyways. he should be happy. you make it sound like a bad thing. other than that it seems that your plot needs defining, the romance needs to expand (what do the see in each other? hopefully not another solitary kid whos not half bad looking), and you need to be especially careful to avoid chiches. (vampires are the hot thing right now; even japans doing it.)
