Grand Publishers?

Hello.

I was approached on Reddit by somebody "associated with" Grand Publishers. Exchanged a couple of messagess with the guy or girl and it seems amicable enough, apart from the ironically abysmal spelling I'm not getting instant scammy vibes... but they did approach me first.
Also checked out the site and it's very light on information. Reviews that Google offered up were all five stars. So, red flag after red flag and I'm getting phonecalls from bulls asking if they can join the party.

However!
How big a risk would I be taking if I were to employ them for marketing or promotion?
Because that's the part I can't get myself effective in. I do not enjoy it, and even when people outright ask me about the books, I have trouble telling them where to get them.
I would absolutely love to let someone else handle promotion.

I'm not sure what I'm asking, so... Anyone ever hear of them?

 

Sorry. But they seem like a vanity press. They have 3 childrens books on amazon.
A sparce website. No staff that i can see listed fromthe shrunken quality of my phone.

Theres an article on Quora called: How can I tell if a publisher I've never heard of is really a vanity publisher?

So, now, how to spot these shysters…

1. First, a quick check may answer your question about a specific company:
   The Alliance of Independent Authors has a Watchdog List of self-publishing services. While there are always new ones popping up, or names change to protect the guilty, this is a very comprehensive and active list. Predators & Editors is another similar list; however, it’s been undergoing renovation and still is at the time of this writing.
2. A vanity publisher will typically try to pressure you into an entire package of publishing services (versus stand-alone services). These will often run $5,000 (U.S.) and up, with their premier packages running well into the five-figure dollar range. Many legitimate services operate this way, but the key difference is whether they pressure you. A true self-publishing service will be perfectly accepting if you just want a proofreader.
3. Vanity publishers will often flatter you or actively seek you out as an author. They are impressed with your work! They discovered you! They see your potential! Legitimate publishers and self-publishing services simply don’t operate this way. Legit publishers receive too many submissions and queries as it is, with many requiring an agent for submission to manage the flood. They don’t need to seek out authors. Valid self-publishing services certainly may advertise or promote their services, but they won’t attempt to woo you with false flattery. Incidentally, less-obvious vanity publishers may tone this down a bit… not flattering you personally, but using extremely emotional language to appeal to you on their website or promotional materials.

​

 

There's really only one question you need to answer - who is paying whom?

They're paying you - all good.
You're paying them - not good.

 

The same way you know a politician is lying: Their mouth is moving.
I don't have problems spotting a scam artist, especially since I will start out assuming they are, and I'm not so high on myself that I will assume my writing impressed anyone enough to contact me.

So far, nobody is paying anybody, but I'm sure they're not gonna offer me money.
I've got the whole publishing process covered. I'm not even gonna consider some doolally who approaches me. But now I'm at the marketing point of the process and I would assume that I'd need to pay someone to do it, if I'm not gonna do it (properly) myself.
That's really the only reason I'm entertaining the thought. Sure, they're a vanity press, but if they could offer a service that I would have to pay for anyway...

Mind you, I'll probably not actually deal with them. Even without being pressured into anything, the 5.000 JT mentioned is enough incentive to study promotion myself.
And it still just feels uneasy. Like getting into an Uber with a guy who has a teardrop face tattoo.

I'm gonna go drop by Reddit. See what they replied. Keep y'all posted.

 

You have sparked a thought.

 

Quick update.
I asked them for some ballpark figures on marketing yesterday. Got a reply stating that "packages can't be shared" on Reddit, can they mail it somewhere. You know how it goes. Best part is that the guy who now introduced himself as Daniel is no longer using "u" to spell "you" and he's gonna check out my first book because it sounded interesting.

I used to be a door-to-door salesman, back when you still needed to convince people to get internet. This smells like that.
I looked like a ratty hobo by day, but I put on a suit because I thought it could help me make money.
Still gonna let him send some stuff to my spam folder. Even if nothing comes out of this, I wanna see how far this goes.

 

Please keep us updated. I, for one, am fascinated to see how low these people can go. It's like watching a train-wreck in slow motion.

JT Woody's and Naomasa's replies are excellent. I only wished to add that even the name of this body seemed suspicious to me: "Grand Publishers". If they were truly that 'grand', why bother pointing that out?

Also ...

... this reminds me of a quote from Nikita Khrushchev, former Prime Minister of the Soviet Union (in the early 1950s-1960s). He said: 'Politicians are the same all over. They promise to build a bridge even where there is no river.'

I read this quote in my late teens, and it always stuck with me.

 

Their website is suspicious. Very light on actual information, no portfolio showing what they've actually published, claiming they've been mentioned by various news organizations but Google doesn't seem to think so, and strange grammar choices as far as capitalization goes.

So add that to the red flags I guess.

 

Sounds like there are more red flags than a May Day Parade.

 

Yeah, if they're that great they wouldn't be approaching me on Reddit.

Honestly, with the amount of red flags I'm seeing all over the place I feel I should start calling them "comrade."
Still, I was curious how they were gonna handle doing stuff for me that was harder to scam, like promotion.

However!
This guy chickened out. No more replies, even after I gave him an email address and a wide open door to stay in touch. Even got all chummy on a first name basis, but nothing. I've learned from this, though. Now I can watch a movie in which a girl doesn't get called back after the first date and feel what she's feeling.
I wish I learned from this how to do my own promotion instead, but you can't win 'em all, I guess.

 

Great minds think alike?

Eek. I hope you gave him a fake email address and a fake name.

If you gave him your real ones, you just left yourself open to be bombarded with spam and worse.

 

Yes, but no. I wasn't sure what a May Day Parade was, or why it would involve red flags. All Google tells me is they're a rockband, and I'm too lazy to start digging deeper. ;o)

I did not. Obviously, I didn't give him the big-boy address, but I did want any information sent to an address I use. Logging into and digging through my spamcatcher address is a big hassle.
Still, calculated risk. If I was getting super scammy vibes off this guy, I wouldn't have accepted his DM in the first place. I think he's hanging off the side of Grand Publishers still thinking he's made a great decision, and convinced he's doing me a favor.

I'll check 'em out, because breaking even is only an option if somebody buys the movie rights. For which I'll need to be seen in the first place. ;o)

 

One valid question for a marketing service would be: have you marketed any books I've heard of?

 

Fair enough. Sorry to digress, but the May Day Parade is a major deal in communist countries, like Russia and China, and happens on 1 May. It's there to celebrate workers' rights. In other countries, it's called "International Workers' Day" or "Labor Day". Here's a picture from Moscow's Red Square in 2014:



That's all I meant by "more red flags than..." etc.

 

Want, want. I'd like to see my shit turned into a movie, but I'm far too realistic to want it.
Still, I'm gonna need a lot more sales to cover a ticket and extended stay in LA so I can stalk Steven Spielberg until I get him alone in an alley and scare him into filming my book. So... promotion is still important.

Yeah, I suspected something Russian. I just couldn't figure it out with "may day" somehow being a very American thing to me, and Google thinking I needed to know even more about rockbands.

 

I think an author would sooner get Big Five attention than movie studio attention. Or perhaps it happens at the same time.

Fifty Shades of Grey got re-released by a Penguin imprint (after originally being self-published) and along with that it looks like the movie rights were put to use immediately.

Though interestingly, John Dies at the End's movie rights were seemingly purchased by an auteur. It flopped (like a certain doorknob) but that's besides the point. It was web serial -> Permuted Press which looks like a micro publisher to me. Of course the later This Book is Full of Spiders is published under Macmillan.

 

Seems to me like they should have put a little more time into it...
I'd say the same for the book itself, but that fucker sold like condoms at a Beyoncé gangbang, so what do I know.

On the other hand, I prefer the stories that are flop-risks. Means they're not like the rest and have way more potential to be interesting for a change. Don't remember a lot of the movie, but I know that I enjoyed it at least somewhat.
I've yet to read This Book Is Full Of Spiders but it sounds like it would be a laugh. Think I've read a bunch of the author's articles on Cracked, though.

Either way, if I allow myself to fantasize that studios are fighting over the rights for my book, I think I'd sooner consider a studio that would try John Dies At The End than Fifty Shades. It's pretty easy typing this from the comfort of a fully adjustable chair, but I think I'd rather have an honest flop than a lowest-common-denominator ready-for-easy-consumption blockbuster.

And I'll keep on saying that, because I don't have to worry about ever getting in that position. ;o)

 

I'd like to rewrite that with the MCs having a brain (each), and call it Fifty Shades of Cranium. (Hey, don't blame me -- these jokes write themselves).

 

Much like the book.
I imagine EL James going "I don't think a human would do this" and then the book went "Do you want me to slap you again?"

 

Other ideas include:

- A book about a sloppy eater who keeps dropping food on his shirt. Title? Fifty Shades of Gravy.

- A donkey in a tie takes the pi-- the mickey out of the original (which isn't difficult). Title? Fifty Shades of Bray.

And my favourite ...

- A lunch at a wonderful seafood restaurant. Title: Fifty Shades of Crayfish.

Coming up with ways to parody "Fifty Shades" is like shooting fish in a barrel.

 

Oddly enough, the porn parody just has the same name.

I'm told.

 

I thought we were done here, but I finally got an email from Grand Publishers themselves.
Outlined the marketing strategy for me. Looks okay, didn't namedrop any outlets they couldn't possibly have access to. Still no prices, though, so I asked him for ballpark figures.

It's, uh... Yeah, those are marketing prices alright.
The lowest estimate came in at 2,999, ranging all the way up to 7,999. I like how he's using the 9-trick that is supposed to make me think, "Oh, it's only seven thousand, how nice."
Thing is, those aren't scammer's prices. You'd think a scammer would lowball it to lure me in. At least, that's what they usually do.
These prices... Hell, I don't know I'd take 'em even if they were legit. Even I have budget concerns at some point.

I reached out to the one writer references on their website, but he's not replied yet. Forgot to ask @Not the Territory 's question about what other stuff they marketed. I'll go and do that right now.

Edit: Thought I'd also check on Streetview. Now I have more questions. The Sacramento address they use leads to California Registered Agent Inc, which provides virtual offices for LLCs and the like.
So that basically means this "Jason Parker" I'm mailing with could still be in one of the scammy countries, right?