So I've been trying to write a fantasy book, and as the novel section won't let me post (despite me having posted more than two reviews.) I thought I'd just run the plot past you guys, to see whether anyone thinks it's good (Keep in mind the plots not fully mapped out. Will need some help there.). Basically a knight has pursued some guys into a tavern who've stolen some heirloom from a noble family. He manages to arrest the thieves but a necromancer who they were trading with makes of with the goods. Later we find out that one of the items stolen was a blade rumored to have the power of resurrection. Then the Necromancer manages to infiltrate the royal palace and murders the king with the blade as part of a plot by this secret cult. We also find out more about the Necromancers back story. I'm planning for him to be a more sympathetic villain who's parents died and that's why he got into necromancy in the first place. Now I've got the Necromancer's motivation pegged but what I don't know about is the cult (he just sort of tags along with them to further his own goals.). So is it a good plot so far and are there any suggestions as to the motives of the cult?
Murdering the king of a nation is a pretty big deal. It's hard to say if your plot is good without knowing the necromancer and the cult's reasons for doing so. Assassinations are done for any number of reasons-political, personal, greed. We don't know anything about the king or the knight you mentioned. We don't even know if the knight is a major player in your plot. Just wait until Cogito responds to this. You'll get everything I just said but with more detail.
Well as I said I'm having a bit of trouble with the cults motivations. I intend the knight to be a main character. The story is very much in the early stages. I've had ideas for the setting for a while but it's only just now I've put a plot in it. As for the Necromancer I have a bit more of a story for him. A couple decades back his parent's died. Ever since he's been doing all he can to try and bring them back to life. Because of this he's got caught up in Necromancy and cults and stuff. This particular cult wants the king dead for reasons I haven't figured out. At the same time the necromancer finds out about the blade that resurrects people and pays some thieves to steal it for him. As the blade requires a sacrifice, and he has been chosen to assassinate the king, he uses the sword.
Perhaps the cult can want the king to be dead in order to exploit the compined power of the necromancer and the resurrection sword to reanimate his body and control the kingdom. Maybe they promised him the sword, as he believed it would assist him in the quest to bring his parents back, but they never came through, so instead he must come up with a way to escape them and steal it back? Just some ideas! Let me know if you need more help!
I don't think that the cult knows about the sword or the Necromancer's personal quest. It just that he found out about the sword around the same time he got the job so decides to use it to his own advantage. However they could certainly be killing him to reanimate him in their control, or else to put one of their guys in charge. It's definitely an idea I'll consider.
A story concept means nothing. I can tell you now, it has all been done before. What matters is how you write it, the characterization, the flow, the imagery, all of it. There's no benefit in asking what other people think of the concept! They'll either say,"Sounds great," or, "it sounds like a ripoff of..." If the idea stirs you, write it. Then ask people what they think of the final story. After they tell you what they don't like about it, revise it, usually several times, until you're happy with it or until you throw up your hands and say the hell with it. Please read What is Plot Creation and Development?
One of my plotting philosophies is expressed as "don't start with Cthulhu." That is, if there's a big, big power in your fictional world, don't _start_ by running into him. Where would you go from there? Ideally, for me, you'd never get anywhere near Cthulhu, but I like my stories low-powered. To me, murdering the king early in the story is starting with Cthulhu. ChickenFreak (Who's Cthulhu? Big world-destroying monster from H.P. Lovecraft. Really, he's far from the biggest monster in that particular fictional world, but that just emphasizes the point all the more.)
Chickenfreak: Hes the most well known monster of Lovecraft works though. (I think, its the only one i know and i havent read anything). OnT:/Chickenfreak: If the killing of the king early in the story is not a main part of the story only a starting point (see elders scrolls 4: oblivion. its a game I know but still). Maybe by killing the king its sets off a chain of events that leads into or through the story.
I don't necessarily see the killing of the king as a bad thing. Or meeting Chthulhu for that matter (aside from the instant insanity). Many books start with huge events (like the start of a war or the death of a monarch) with the main story dealing with the aftermath. Game of Thrones is pretty much that way.
Thanks for the constructive criticism guys. I think the cult is going to attempt to summon a demon and the ritual requires a royal sacrifice. It's a bit cliche but I'm going to try and put my own spin on it. I've already thought of how the villains are defeated and I'm fairly sure I haven't read anything like it (not saying it's completely unique, just that I personally haven't seen it done yet.).
Maybe you can open this story with the necromancer standing in the kings bed chamber with the bloodied sword and reflecting on what he's done. From what you said in your original post I was personally more interested in the fact the necromancer had just killed a monarch rather than the bit about the knight. Is the necromancer the main character or is the knight? Because the necromancer sounds like a more interesting character. Maybe the knight or knights are actually manipulating the cult or a part of the highest order in said cult. Perhaps the knight wants to marry the queen and take the throne through her and so concocted a plot to have someone else kill off the king by making out the cult needed him dead as a ritual and the necromancer is the sucker they got to do the dirty work.
Yeah I'm also kind of drawn towards the Necromancer though that's probably because I just haven't got round to developing the knight yet. Perhaps I should consider a dual POV?
Hi, Is it possible that the necromancer intends to use the blade to resurrect his parents, and that killing the king with it is just a means of fueling it? The cult gave him the blade for their own reasons, perhaps to have a resurrected king in their army of agents / pawns, and so the necromancer and the cultists are at odds? Meanwhile the knight has to stop both lots before one of them puts a dead king back on the throne. (Of course if its necromancy he's fighting he might be a holy knight or paladin, sworn to oppose undead etc.) Just some thoughts.
Well I think I will make it so that the blade specifically requires a royal sacrifice else it just creates plot holes. Also I think I'll have it so it was the Necromancer's lover that was killed. Also I'm pretty much set now on the king being killed as part of a ritual to summon a demon. The fact that one man is being used for two rituals is going to be quite a pivotal part of the story. Any more ideas are welcome however.
If it's going to be his lover that was killed then perhaps she herself was used as some kind of a sacrifice or something and he wanted to bring her back but in turn it means he has to sacrifice others which he realises would only make her unhappy or something emotional like that? Perhaps she was the only person that accepted him for who he was and everyone else said that being a necromancer was evil and he was the right hand of the devil because he was defying god's will by bringing people back to life? I'm not religious but it's the sort of thing religions look down on.
Well the Necromancy part came as a result of him trying to bring her back (though that may change.) but maybe he accidentally set her up for a sacrifice. I'm open to virtually all possibilities at this stage. And I certainly think it's a good idea for him to have an epiphany that maybe she wouldn't like the ways he was trying to get her back.
