Hi all, So my book is being released on the 25th of September with a traditional publisher. Honestly, I feel like I'm drowning in edits and, knowing nothing about the publication process, I'm also a little confused. My editor has requested that I change the last 1-2 paragraphs of my book. Plot-wise these paragraphs don't make much of difference. However, I feel very attached to my ending and I feel a little insulted that they asked me to change it (might just be my fragile writer sensibilities) but anyway. Should I change it? Do you think the current ending I have is fine? (see below) For future reference, do editors usually ask for these types of changes and is it polite to disagree/refuse to make these changes? Current Ending "She was fishing in her bag for her car keys when the window exploded. Flames erupted from the upstairs, dark clouds of smoke tainting the pearly undertones of the vapour, and ultimately consuming Bo’s form. As she drove away, the blazing flames becoming smaller in her rear-view mirror. She tapped the beat of a familiar hymn on her steering wheel, and grace will lead me home. Roshana would return to the house in the years that followed, the house reduced to burnt wood and ash. On the ground, under the great oak tree, she sat amongst the damp grass and thought of the immortal, frozen amidst the vast rock of eternity times.”
I can see some potential issues:- window - this is the house window upstairs exploding, not the car window Flames erupted from the upstairs, dark clouds of smoke tainting the pearly undertones of the vapour, - what vapour? Bo’s form - Bo is somewhere inside the burning building she's parked outside - so wouldn't be visible to the pov. And the pov doesn't stay around to know Bo's form is ultimately consumed. (assuming it's all in a close-3rd pov) As she drove away, the blazing flames becoming smaller in her rear-view mirror. - missing a main verb. Might just be punctuation if it needed a comma not a full stop and grace will lead me home. - song title. Usually these have caps and are marked out, e.g. with inverted commas ' ' but there are various different ways Roshana would return to the house in the years that followed, the house reduced to burnt wood and ash. - redundancy/verbal economy. Could just say she visited the ruin, or the burnt wood and ash On the ground, under the great oak tree, she sat amongst the damp grass - redundancy/verbal economy. If she's sitting on damp grass under an oak tree then of course she's on the ground. Also the subjunctive mood perhaps doesn't continue from the previous sentence. It's that she would (often) sit. Alternatively the previous sentence could be taken out of the subjunctive and present the reader with a concrete image: years later she did return and she did sit and she did think. thought of the immortal, frozen amidst the vast rock of eternity times. - the immortal I guess is Bo and he was frozen in rock before the explosion. Amidst the vast rock of eternity times - unidiomatic. Could say the vast rock of eternal time ? Or just frozen in eternity. Lots of other questions: is the explosion redundant if he's immortal? Or is the immortality redundant if the story wants to end with her blowing him up? Is the last sentence redundant and could the story end stronger on "grace will lead me home"? Is the closing image too much of a trope for the end of a relationship? Is the beat of and grace will lead me home even distinctive...? Is the hymn appropriate to the circumstance? Tonally, is it slow and soothing implying she's very impassive to the explosion? == If there's no other guidance, I'd suggest there's some editing needed anyway, but also room for improvement tonally and in terms of the closing impact on the reader. It's probably impossible to be of more help without knowing the story leading up to it. Personally I try to close stories by looking for an image that the reader's mind's eye wasn't expecting and would never have thought of. In my mind the MC in this paragraph becomes a cross between Mr Blonde from Reservoir Dogs and Sister Rosetta Tharpe. "Through many dangers..." She's getting her car keys unhooked "Toils and.. snares. Damn it." They're caught on her glasses inside her handbag, "I..." Bo's kidney lands on the windscreen. It rolls down a little in its blood, and kinda sizzles. It's very quiet for a time. Nobody's seen. "I have already..." She flicks on the windscreen wipers. But it's in that annoying place they can't reach. "Well would you..." And she's about to go into Reception to ask Bo for a tissue, but Reception's on fire now. "I'm just forever cleaning up after him. Well, maybe it'll fall off on the freeway... T'was Grace that brought me safe thus far... and Grace will lead me home."
