We've all been that person at one time or another. I'm talking about the ones who are always that person. Also, it's meant to be fun, don't get offended. Mine: The Sarah McLachlan: Will post shockingly graphic photos of abused animals. The Politician: Doesn't matter the issue, will take an extreme view and post away. The Self Helper: Posts softly colored pictures with facile words of self-love. Some Assembly Required Boy / Girl Interrupted: Always VagueBooking. Occasional memes that could possibly be construed as suicidal ideation. The Mom: Has a never ending supply of "If you have a beautiful daughter..." or, "If you have the best son in the world..." memes at hand. Where do they come from? Who knows. Yours??
Well observed. I'd like to add this 'un. The Unhealthily Addicted Exercise Freak: Posts nothing but badly posed pics revealing the 'new' them, motivational memes that verge on vomit inducing to all but those with sod all in their stomachs, and lastly, proud boasts that they've actually eaten something. There's something aggravating about having to see a blow by blow account of every spin class, kettle bell class, free weight session... We get it. You are fit. We applaud your last half marathon, and your express hike up Kilimanjaro, now do we really need to know the ins and outs of every squat, lunge, stretch and hamstring injury? It's not sour grapes. I swear.
Given that I gym (v.), I know a few of these as well! One of them also falls under the category of: Selfierella: Complains that Facebook has sent them a server fee because of the size of their selfie album. You can tell how he/she is feeling about their physical appearance/weight by the angle at which the selfie is shot. Dead-on = Feeling Great! Selfie taken from somewhat elevated angle = Feeling Not So Great!
The Mild Boar: He posts frequently, but every post is about the minutiae of his daily existence. He fascinates you with a report that his day's commute was two minutes and fifty-three seconds shorter than his previous best. You learn that his dog smells 200% better after a day at the groomers. You gasp in awe at the news that he has purchased a brand new sheepskin seat cover for his car's passenger seat. I'm sorry, I seem to have misspelled "bore". And there is also his close relative: The Organ Recitalist: This invariably elder poster provides daily reports of her aches, pains, and anticipated surgeries. On the plus side, you have learned more about the descending colon than you never thought to wonder about.
Yeah... The Snake Oil Salesman: This poster runs a small business, whether it's Avon or Mary Kay or Tupperware and takes up a majority of posts with how awesome the products are and how they will enhance or enrich our lives or our health.
The Bilingual: Constantly posting in another language to accommodate their family and forgetting their English only speaking friends.
The Infiltrator: One day you suddenly see their posts on your timeline. You have no clue who they are, no recollection of ever having friended them. It's not a page that you "liked", it's an actual person. Creepy.
The Selfist: This person doesn't just take pictures every minute of trivial events, this person takes pictures of him or herself and all the super-interesting spots he or she visits. Sometimes friends can be spotted at the edges of the frame, but the limelight is always on 'self'.
Well, here's my list. It seems long, but not everyone gets deleted. I just stop following some. I did do a massive purge and cut almost 400 people though. I'm down to 120-ish friends, and they're people I actually interact with! Anyway: The Forgotten Ones: these are those friends you haven't seen or heard from in so long that you've completely forgotten about them. The Haterz: These angry folks have nothing better to do then talk bad about something or someone. When it's not one thing, it's another. The Ambiguloids: All those sorry teens (and some adults) who post comments about what some nameless figure did to upset them. (e.g. "Yeah, I real cool. Next time I won't invite you, b****"). Please learn the difference in having something to say, and just saying something. The Photo-evangelists: Okay, so I don't delete all of them, but some of them I block. I just don't want to be preached at by endless pictures of scripture. I understand your mission, really I do, but I have a bible and I didn't name it Facebook. The Moms: (Except mine, of course ...and a few others). See @Wreybies OP The LIKE Fishers: These are all those young girls who post oddly colored pictures hi-lighting their eyes and/or showing their boobs with captions like "Sometimes I just don't feel very pretty..." Come on! You know that's an act! Disney's Zombies: These poor folks live at Disneyland... They have no life unless they are going to Disneyland and posting the same pictures over and over again talking about all things Disney... The Politicians: I. Don't care. About how stupid you think Mr. President is... If you can really do things better, go do something about it instead of ranting on Facebook. The Brand Marketers: These people only post when they want to advertise for some company who is not even paying them...
Oh! and the most important ones of all: The Eboniholics: th3s ppl only wr1t3 n 3b0nicz cuz dey thnk itz coo tew d3str0y tha 3nglish language. iono how dey get wat each0ther is sayin cuz dis dont mak3 no since tew meh. hbu?
The Fangirl: Constantly posts asinine fan photos and memes. Don't get me wrong, a little of this is fine, not 12 consecutive posts about one singular fandom. Its just to much. Can be either gender, just is usually girls. You can practically hear the overenthusiastic screaming. The Singer: Posts videos of herself singing because she's just that great that everyone needs to hear her voice. The Vegetarian Who Is Better Than You: The one friend on facebook who is a vegetarian, and is also blessed with the knowledge that this makes them morally superior to everyone else who slaughter innocent creatures and eat them. Will constantly be posting articles about the benefits of vegetarianism/veganism along with encouraging words to help enlighten us poor barbarians.
If you don't post THIS on your status, I'll know you're not my friend... Not far wrong there, dearie ...blip...
This^ I don't know what makes them get it into their heads that they need to lecture us... Well that's not true; I do know. That doesn't change the fact that it's annoying as heck. Granted, I have some vegetarian friends who believe very strongly in their vegetarianism and the physical and spiritual benefits thereof. For the most part I agree with them, but I deleted the ones who were overly pushy. Every day it was something else, and I just couldn't take the egotism!
I've kept my Friends list low, mainly because my newsfeed is busy enough as it is. I've never unfriended anybody, but I have partially blocked a few. These are people whom I know personally and like a lot, BUT ...they posted umpteen times a day. I mean, one guy posted 35 times to his status in one 24-hour period. All about recipes, etc.
Yep, I knew people like that too, lol. They were among the first on my chopping block. The reason I went all-out and deleted people is because I had over 600, most of whom I did not know personally, never really talked to me, and/or were generally never on. I realized this is just Facebook; some friends will notice (and have) and will re-friend me. Even then, true friends will realize that we don't need Facebook to be friends. In high school we just added anyone who was affiliated with our school whether we knew them or not. Being popular and "knowing" people mattered more back then. Now, I keep my circle small because it cuts down on all the b.s.
I have very few Friends on Facebook, because I only use it to keep in touch with family and actual, real-life friends I really do know really in real life. The total number comes to 35. There are more people who always seem to want to "friend" me, but I ignore them because I can barely handle the ragtag bunch I have. One of my Friends is actually a cousin who is EXTREMELY far left politically, and just will not shut up about it. He doesn't get on every day, but every two or three days he'll post about a hundred news stories about things around the world that make him outraged. He'll insist that everyone involved is a war criminal or guilty of crimes against humanity and insist that we all jump aboard his Bandwagon of Lunatic Extremism. I'm going to have to find a way to ignore him. He's the only one who bugs me.
The, I Can Eat Whatever I Want and Not Get Fat Friend: constantly post pictures of every meal they eat and brags about going out to fine dining restaurants every chance they get.
The "I'm better than you" type or the "I'm inferior to you" type. I really have no tolerance for people with such an active ego in either direction.
That's interesting. I kind of wondered if Friend Accumulation was going on amongst the 'younger set.' Some of them appear to have thousands of "Friends." Lord. So it IS a popularity contest? That's a shame, because when it's used to keep in touch with real far-flung friends and relations around the world AS A GROUP, Facebook is magic. Mind, you I suppose when you reach the age of 60+ and have lived on two different continents, you'll have accumulated a few people during your lifetime. Somebody who is 18? Maybe not so much.
There is certainly a huge popularity contest element to it. Why do you think we young folks try so hard to acquire "Likes"? It's like getting approval from all kinds of people. The more friends you have, the more likes you can get, and interesting you must be, right? Another element is the idea that you're meeting people from anywhere and becoming part of this massive community via the internet. And with more people posting general thoughts to social media, it's almost like we're connected in the mind. There is this strong sense of belonging, and of empowerment when you have a lot of friends on facebook. I'm just one of the guys who realized, "yeah it doesn't mean anything. We're all going to grow up and that will be it." Being older, and having gone through your teen years well before Facebook was around, and in a time when personal face-to-face interaction was valued, Facebook today is much more of a tool to stay connected. For many of us millennials, it's almost an entire digital world, especially as you start linking with Youtube, Pinterest, Twitter, and Instagram. Half of everyday life is lived and/or catalogued on the internet for some of us. It's scar when put in those terms.
I don't unfriend, but I block or simply ignore certain types: In my case that'd be The Vegan Who Is Better Than You. A lot of my friends are vegetarians, which is cool, but when you realize you becoming a vegan and a raw food eater fixed your tummy problems, it doesn't mean you have to push that stuff on people without tummy problems and then judge them if they dare boil their oatmeal instead of enjoying a bowl of cold water and oats, soaked for 24 hours. I love that you're doing something that's good for you, sure, but I don't want to feel shitty about eating a donut every now and then. Or The Gastroid, a usually overweight person who posts pictures of their every restaurant meal and double moccha latte. Then they complain about their weight. Supergirl. She posts only when something good happens, creating an illusion of being the most perfect person in the world, an illusion I buy into even though I should know better. If she's a teacher, her students love her, maybe too much as she must share it with the world that a 16-year-old boy kept hitting on her during the class as if it wasn't creepy at all but an accomplishment. If she does sports, she has to post pics of finishing second on a marathon (some people think any long run = marathon). The Gym Humpty Dumpty. Don't get me wrong. I love it when previously or still over-weight friends decide to start exercising -- good for them! But posting pics of your "calf muscles" (that most normal weight people have anyway), discussing the best stores where to buy the best gym clothes, or going on about the bestest recovery shake you just chugged in after workout (that you don't even need. Yay for extra calories) reads a bit like you want the world to think you're an athlete now. But I know these people. I know they fold when the work-out gets so tough you have no time -- or breath -- to gossip with your girlfriends. I'm actually interested only in the updates of my family and closest friends. Facebook allows people to show their best side to the world, or they use it to fish compliments to feed their own fragile egos. I know I'm sometimes guilty of things like that too, but at the end of the day, it's quite sad that I'd need a web page to feel better about myself.
The NRA Spokesperson: "You can have it when you pry it out of my cold, dead, Twinkie® engorged hand!" - all day long. One of my best gal-pals from high school, with whom I reconnected via Facebook two decades later turned out to be this person. Caveat - I am a gun owner. I regularly go to the range for the federal officers by curtesy and kindness of having them as coworkers. I believe in the right of responsible, trained, adult citizen to bear arms. I just don't feel the need be so extremist about it, ffs. The Pet Owner: I have dog! Look at my dog! Holy Jesus on a pony have you ever seen a dog so cute in all your life? No, never, not possible because he's mine, mine, mine!!! (also, you can replace dog with cat).
Do I detect a hint of jealousy, @KaTrian ? No, I'm kidding. People don't bother me much when they only post good things because I know it's not fooling anyone, and I know most people aren't trying to. Sometimes I'll go for weeks with nothing bad to say about my life, but it's implicit that things are not perfect. On that teacher note, though, that type of mess could very well cost you your job over here. Yes, some schools do keep an eye on employee social media. My high school's first athletic trainers was fired for a photo album that featured students who had "friended" her on facebook (there was also a ludicrous rumor of inappropriate relations with a student...) I'm pretty sure Citrus Valley keeps a closer watch now because of the two other young female teachers suspected of sleeping with minors (one actually found guilty and convicted for a year... she has his baby...) What I can't stand are Gym selfies! Okay, I get it, you're in the gym, I don't need to see a picture as proof every day. How much work are you doing if you stop for pictures every 5 minutes? My friends are pushing me for it, but I think it's a little self-absorbed, if not then, nothing but a part of the random, commercialized fitness craze that has taken hold. Suddenly everybody thinks they're an athlete. All girls must wear yoga pats with their hair in a bun or ponytail, and all guys must wear clothes to show off big biceps and broad shoulders. Suddenly everyone is talking nutrition like hey really know whats up because they saw something on Dr. Oz. People are robots, man...
I've had it up to here with selfies in general. I've seen too many of them, and most of them look ridiculous - some idiot in a mirror with their phone held up, with half the picture obscured by the flash ... sheesh. It's just "Look at me!" as if they're doing something interesting. They aren't. New rule: If you can't find someone else to take a picture of you, you're boring.
Always at the range it seems like this friend is at the range or out hunting every dam day. That friend that instead of moving to Americas version of Hong Kong, only has to deal with federal gun laws. They buy a new AR15 because they want one in 300 BlackOut. You dont want to defrend them because you want a invite to the range next time your in their area
