This is a fantasy story I'm writing The villains name is Merfi ( pronounced Murphy) ------------------------------------------------------------------------ Story Super-Short Summary: There is a princess Sophia with her best friend a fortuneteller Karako. The golden rule for fortunetellers is to give vague predictions, never give a straight answer or else that person as well as the fortuneteller be cursed. well after Sophia bugs and pleads Karako loses her control ( do to the stress of war) and blurts out the truth that their male friend Azure is the one Sophia is meant to be with. Sophia takes it as a bad joke. but soon run into Azure who is about to go out and fight in the war. He confuses his love to the princess but finding what Karako said to be true Sophia runs away. in her haste she get pierced in the heart by a flying sword. and dies. Now the Sophia, Karako, Azure, and other character can't move on to the after life due to something holding them back, they meet living people who look similar to them and/or with similar lives to share a body with to help figure out why they can't pass on ( as well has have the spirits help the living with their problem) well same thing happen the male and the female die before figuring out why. this happens for 3000 years the repeat of meaning someone living to help and they die before they can figure out the truth. ----------------------------------------------------------------------- Now to Merfi: Merfi has always been in the shadows(unknown to even the reader except a few hints) causing the living character pain in different ways for fun and keep the truth unknown Is the reason the living die before they can help, killing them so they don't figure it out because she feeds off the fear and misery. Spends her time causing what can go wrong to go wrong. to the point of killing people before they should die. Has even made Death himself cry because of this. He wants to stop her but because of the spirits not being able to pass on or the curse itself he can't do anything but watch I can't decide between 1. Having Merfi be born of the fear from Sophia and keeping the princess afraid so she can keep living as well as feed off the fear. 2. Merfi has always been around but do to the curse ( or something) has a craving for that fear , using any mean to make it more tasty ( by killing others) as well as keep it entertaining. Merfi is meant to be the finial and most powerful villain. She has the ability to use plants , living in other body's if she is to weak to survive on her own ( even take the form of a child until ready to for ultimate), use plant to poison someone or mind control Any additional Advice or ideas that be better? Sorry it's so confusing I'd be happy to explain anything your lost on. ( just tell me what it is please) I tried my best without giving away any thing. Thanks for your help tons
Hey.I love the idea of your story I would be interested to know what Merfi is.A spirit,a evil sorceress or demonic presence.Could she be of Sofia's kin but cast out for a reason? Has she history with the princess family? Is she Azure's unrequited lover? Is her motive one of haterd towards Sofia's parents so vows to keep Sofia passing on? Or is she a machiavellian character that has an interest in causing fear for her own amusement or is something about the trio keeping her bound to them? Just a few ideas that I hope give you food for thought.x
I find this information here to be very helpful in gathering what sort of character Merfi is. Knowing this, I would say that you should follow through with option 2 My reason for this, is that the back ground information you provided suggests that Merfi has been around before Sophia's incident. Maybe the motifs of Merfi could be tweaked so that the story suggests that she has always had an inclination to be mischievous since her beginning, but Sophia sets Merfi 'off the deep end'. Having Merfi come into existence at the point where Sophia and company are unable to successfully remain dead sounds contradictory to Merfi's background and/or character outline, which you have already established. I hope that helps
This makes a grand analogy, JFK style - "the only thing we have to fear is fear itself". I like the moral lesson of this plot better. Personal opinion only. Both sound intriguing, and the later may create more opportunity for back story or give more characters a better reason to join in and help.
Here is my thought Thank you to everyone who post it, you idea helped more then you know. here is what i have decided (for now) I'm going to kinda combine the two ideas. in a way ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Merfi is the human personification of Murphy's law "anything that can go wrong will" she is just a child who causes small problems example having the wind carry away you winning lottery ticket just as you've learned your the winner. but when the golden rule is broke and Sophia is cursed. it away Merfi is curse too. Merfi must cause everything to go wrong for Sophia as she goes from one life to another. at first Merfi would have a chain of events to cause the Main character's to die but then Merfi has to do it her self. each time she kills them it ( the Sophia's fear) poisons her in a way but due to the curse she can't stop, so it get worse ( even killing other people around the living main characters before they meet the spirits) with each life until the curse is lifted ~ NOTE: after going through this pattern for 3000 years Merfi can tell who is going to help the spirits years before they meet. because the living either look similar to the dead or lead similar lives. Merfi is first shown to be just be a henchmen for the first villain and only hinted with the next two villain , only become the last and hardest to defeat bad guy ( because she has never been truly defeated) She is most of the time in a adult form, but when she is hurt from the first battle(with first villain) she takes on a child form until she is a full power along with messing with the characters form the side lines. --------------------------------------------------------------------- What do you think? I got a character you love to hate. you hate who she is but at the same time feel bad that she really can't do anything. along with her being just a child.
