Hi Newbie here, I am writing a novella centred on a 12-year-old girl named Charlotte. Who suspects that her younger sister’s (Avery) newly imported Lottie dolls are sentient, and causing trouble around the house. The dolls were obtained at an auction for a suspiciously low price, this is made even more dubious by the fact there are over 20 of them. The tone of the novella mirrors that of a Goosebumps book, light but not afraid to darken if the plot requires it. As you can imagine the dolls cause a mess. With little mischievous pranks here and there before escalating to outright vandalising the house, something Charlotte is blamed for. I am looking for advice on how to end the final portion of the Novella. I want the dolls comeuppance to come at night, and soon after the arrival of Charlotte’s father’s new sports car. I want the dolls to attempt to vandalise it before being ultimately stopped at the last minute. Charlotte goes into her sister’s room while her parents are out, and Avery is at a friend’s. The dolls come to life and narrate their plan to Charlotte, Charlotte then attempts to run out of the room but is swarmed before she can. Any idea on the best direction to take from here? Because a period of time elapses before her father returns with the car.
Ugh, don't do this. This smacks of the evil mastermind explaining everything to the hero, because he thinks there's no way he'll be defeated. How evil or malicious are these dolls? Are they likely to hurt her?
I agree that they should not narrate their plan. What would be their motivation to do that? Perhaps find another way for your character to find out. What if they left a few clues? A member of the family could race to figure the clues out before the dolls are able to commit their act? That could build suspense. If you have a working draft, I'd be interested to read parts of it. That might help provide more specific ideas.
FYI I moved this thread from the Workshop to Plot Development. The Workshop is reserved for original pieces open for critique. No harm, no foul.
Hey, I will revise the dolls announcing their plan. You are right, it comes across as too cliche and plastic (no pun intended). I was thinking, what if Charlotte found out about the plan because she found a car magazine sitting by one of them, then when she confronts them they attack. The thing is now Charlotte knows about the plan and has to be prevented from ruining it. That is why they swarm her. I need Charlotte out of the narrative for around an hour, so that they can least attempt to vandalise the car.
The question you have seems to be: What happens in the confrontation between Charlotte and the dolls? What do you want to happen? Who do you want to win? Why?
Exactly as @Louanne Learning says. We can maybe help you brainstorm ideas as to how your desired outcome happens, but in order to do that, we have to know what you want to happen. We can't really suggest what should happen - that's your job as the author.
Hey, well obviously Charlotte knowing about the plan is detrimental to the dolls actually vandalising the car. The dolls would have to stop Charlotte sounding the alarm when her father returns with the car. How would the dolls achieve this after swarming her? Her father wont be home for another hour by that point in the story. I was thinking maybe they tie her up?
Tying her up a la Gulliver's Travels would seem to be the obvious answer, or in extremis, knocking her out, but that's a pretty violent thing to do to a twelve year old child, which is why I asked you how violent these dolls are.
Hey, as mentioned the tone of the novella will be similar to Gooseumps by RL STINE. So light but sometimes on the darker side. Gulliver's Travells is a great analogy to use. The only issue is that when her sister comes back from her friends I dont want her finding the protagonist until later... If she is lying in the middle of the room it would defeat the objective. I want her sister to be the one to free her, but after she finds her somewhere.
I suppose that could work... The sister could hear banging coming from the wardrobe? Maybe some kind of noise?
Even if she's gagged, she can still make some noise. Maybe she does so when she hears her sister in the room.
Hey, good idea. What would the dolls use to tie her up? I mean she is in her sisters room, what could they use? Also I was thinking, they could tie her up without knocking her out. Giving the tone, I want to keep it light.
Rope? Twine? Bucatini pasta? Pick something. We're not going to write the whole thing for you, are we?
@Aliceononelmstreet - these are *very* basic ideas you're asking us for. The ideas we've suggested are just about the simplest and most tropey ideas there are out there, and probably occurred to people as soon as they read the thread. I'm not sure why you're struggling to develop them yourself. So first, you asked what the dolls would do once they swarmed her. Well, obviously, they don't want her to interfere or stop them so they need to capture and immobilise her. What are the most obvious ways? Tie her up or knock her out. You don't want her sister to find her just lying on the floor? So have the dolls move her somewhere. Where? What's the most obvious place in a bedroom? The closet or under the bed. What do they tie her up with? What is a 12 year-old likely to have in her bedroom that could be used? Something long, thin and flexible. Ribbons, bathrobe belts, clear tape, that sort of thing. Spend a little time thinking about it and the answer will be obvious.
Thank you very much. I would say clear tape. Because its reasonable strong, and used for a school project.
