First Chapter of Vampire Novel?

I wanted to start the story with scenes that set the tone as horror, so I wrote the first chapter as an action sequence having someone get attacked and killed by the vampire. Problem is, it doesn't include the MC at all and we never see these characters again (outside of the BG). The killing is referenced in several of the chapters that follow, but the MC is introduced in chapter 2, and the story kicks off from there. In this first chapter I make it known that this has been going on in this town for a while and people are on edge for a serial killer, or whatever.

This all sounds good and fine to me, but I'm learning you shouldn't start a book with one-and-done characters and that it's a huge mistake not to introduce your MC and get the ball rolling from the start. It's a horror story, so I wanted to set the tone up front, but I wasn't ready to toss my MC into the action quite yet like that.

Feeling distressed about this and am wondering if i need to rework the start of the story.

Thanks,

Trev

 

You could go ahead and write it and decide later if you want to use it or not. I've definitely seen it done like that before (the one-and-done scene with disposable characters). In fact I'd say it's fairly common in horror. It's how The Abyss begins—the first submarine gets decimated and then we cut to our characters in their own setting. It does connect up somewhat though, because immediately our MCs get contacted by the Navy and told their mission has changed and now they need to explore the destroyed sub, search for survivors and remove some munitions. So really it directly sets up the story and leads us right to the MCs, as well as being foreshadowing of what could happen to them. I don't think all that is necessary though, it could just be some rando getting offed. At least it involves the main antagonist vampire right? That's a pretty strong connection.

 

Hmm ... I don't write horror, so I could be the wrong person to ask. But I always involve my MC in the first chapter, mostly in the first paragraph or two. It's a simple, direct way to introduce him/her to your readers.

The rest of my advice is general in nature, so it mightn't be relevant to horror. But if your first chapter starts with a killing, it might be a good idea to involve your MC in some way. He/she doesn't need to be involved physically, or even be on the scene while it happens. He/she might:

- observe it from the shadows, and after the killer is gone, light up a cigarette and observe the corpse
- stroll by afterwards, discover the corpse, and react (disgust? shock? horror? indifference? Up to you!)
- not even know about it until he/she is called in by the cops -- this is a common trope in hard-boiled noir fiction

Then again, if your antagonist vampire is involved, you need to show his/her reaction. The killing isn't as important as the reason and the reaction. Why does your vampire kill this random person? To feed? To rob the corpse? To avenge a debt? A mugging gone wrong? Just for fun? Your antagonist's motives show what kind of character he/she is.

How does he/she feel about it? Horror / shock might be common for a first-time killing, as could disgust with the corpse. Disgust with himself/herself could set up a redemption arc. Indifference would indicate either a veteran, inured against feelings, or ... well, I'd hesitate to use terms like "psychopath" or "sociopath", because those have established psychological definitions. (I'd urge you to look these up: they are fascinating, and could give you some ideas into your antagonist and his/her behaviour).

As long as you show us why your antagonist acts the way he/she does, and how he/she feels afterwards, you can't go wrong.

Having said that, the worst thing you can do is open with a random vampire killing a random person, just to show that this is a horror story. Your reader might get through the first few chapters, and then start wondering: "Where's what's-his-name, the vampire? Isn't he in this?" ... and after another chapter or two, they'd give up. So don't do that. (But I'm sure you won't!)

 

You could maybe set it up as a prologue? I know some people frown upon using those, but IMHO there is nothing wrong with it if executed well and it serves the story.

Or perhaps you could tie the MC into it toward the end of the chapter? Maybe the MC overhears something about the murder (police report, News, social media, etc.), or the MC runs into the killer somehow who teases what just happened.

 

This sounds like a situation where a prologue is called for. Instead of those events making up chapter one, condense it down to a page or two used to foreshadow the main part of the novel. I agree with the conventional advice that the main character, and their goal, should be introduced in the first chapter.

 

I think with horror it's not like you can start a novel with your MC having a regular day. Readers of the genre expect a certain amount of action up front or they quickly lose interest. The motivation for the killing and the BG's thoughts and feelings about it are made quite clear I think in later chapters and I circle back to the setting with my MC and his friends later on, which adds to the tension of those scenes. It's just that we don't encounter those original characters again. I could have written them back in, but I didn't want to invest the word count into something that I didn't think drove the story forward. @Rath Darkblade I subtly introduce the main bad guy (the vampire) in the chapter, so it's not some random ghoul doing the killing, but you make a great point. I've gone to great lengths to make the guy an asshole and set up how my MC has his hands full with him.

The prologue idea is an interesting one. It won't frighten away a literary agent if I slip that in? It seems like it doesn't take much to scare them away. I like the idea, however.

 

As I recall, perhaps somewhat in error, PD James usually had her MC coming in around a quarter to a third of the way into the book.